Yay, fun ( Read more... )

In Memorial

“My” Rachel
May 2007-August 2008

When I first met Rachel, getting “involved” was the furthest thing from my mind. She was an attractive young lady, outgoing and free-spirited, who was in a serious relationship with an old acquaintance of mine. I was a reserved, middle-aged guy in a long-term monogamous relationship. I found ( Read more... )

(Wearily scratches scalp, mussing up hair, and rubs eyes)
Um..., uh...Hello?
(stretchy yawn)
OK, I think I might be getting better now.
I think.

 
 Ask me how my day has been...,

Woke up this morning, and right off I'm in a foul mood.  I had spent last night listening to 3 different friends complaining about various problems, and was carrying residual feelings of sympathy for one's plight, distain for another's audacity to complain about a problem that they KNEW they were headed for, and ( Read more... )

 
I am, after all, human. Things hurt me.
Now, I may well be more sensitive than most, and in a less-than-stellar headspace lately, but those facts do nothing to lessen my pain.
My feelings are not my friends these days. When I get emotional, my feelings overshadow my logic.   I forget that others have feelings as well, and that they might not have ( Read more... )

Drinking:  Take a double shot of Southern Comfort, pour over ice, and add 12 ounces of cola.  Repeat 6 times in 5 hours.  Result - Very relaxed me!

Thinking:  I deserve much better than this.  To find myself, every day, getting more and more frustrated, waiting for my “emotional hand-out” of the day (a phone call).  But, sooner or later, the phone ( Read more... )

So, what in the hell am I going to do now?  AJM and I had discussed the fact that I was uncomfortable with the idea of having a “just sex” relationship with Rachel, because I did care about her as a person and a friend.  I had told her then that it may be necessary for me to “fall a little bit in love with her” (HA!), for me to be OK with the ( Read more... )

    It all started with an “episode” in the early part of 2006.  My S.O. is a self-described lesbian that happened to fall in love with a penis-bearer.  She’d not explored her attraction to females very successfully in the past, and didn’t seem particularly interested in doing so for the first 5 years of our relationship.  She’d say things like “I ( Read more... )

 For a bit yet, you're going to get stuck with random thoughts from my head, like:

"It was the dawn of the Third Age of mankind,..."  What an excellent show.  Season 1 has lousy acting, but even in the beginning, the storylines drew me in.

Loss must be a lesson, and one either learned or repeated.

Words can only explain actions, never replace them, ( Read more... )

 Anybody still out there?
Working very hard to get my head out of my ass.  Need to know if continuing/restarting this journal is worth the effort.  Comment if you're still bothering to read it.
And for little miss "called me a pussy"...,
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a338/AmandaJayne98/edring.jpg

I am so incredibly broken right now, it's not even ( Read more... )