i just booked my flight to LAX

i will be playing with movie stars
all day while liz and laura go to
a career fair

look for me on the front pages
of STAR magazine

i won't be happy with anything less
than pure hollywood scandal

momma strohmer came up to tailgate yesterday & got wasted as all hell ( Read more... )

my roommates are at the titty bar
& i am here
eating hummus

my room is an ashtray
there is champagne spilled on the carpet
and i have pepperoni on my speakers

sometimes when i get really high
i hide
this time it was behind the futon

"I want to have 10 children so at least 1 of them will be a liver match."

what a weekend.
and i even got sunburned.
passed out in the stadium behind the hot dog stand.
with my michigan cape on.

& i wore high heels for an entire night.
granted i DID take a taxi to the bar.
but i still get points for being sophistifunk.

well, this whole composite picture business could have gone a whole lot differently ( Read more... )

last night marge & i went to chucks for strawberry margaritas and miller lite. walking home i got drunk dialed by my entire family. all of my aunts and uncles were at FOGGY BOTTOM and they were singing karaoke and they were wasted. for anyone who is not familiar...FOGGY BOTTOM (formerly TUBES) is a SERIOUS venue. i don't think i've ever seen ( Read more... )

LJ Interests meme results

1. biology:
   I like petri dishes, what can I say?
   
2. chutes and ladders:
   Milton Bradley was right on with that one.
3. eucalyptus:
   Koalas are asexual.
4. frozen drinks:
   Margarita me!
5. guys who play guitar:
   Awshitson. If you can pick a six-drink AND can keep up with the circus that is ME...
   Now that's love.

Yes! I finally got new blinds. Sorry to the neighbors who will no longer be able to see me naked seven days a week ( Read more... )

here is what i realized last night
men always get women that are hotter than them
but you rarely see a woman with a man who is clearly more attractive than her

that sucks

and there is a pot of hungarian stew on my stove with a plunger in it

yay the Green Day concert was awesome. I completely missed JEW because I was in the parking lot drinking directly out of a handle of Captain, but who really cares about them anyway? I did manage to burn my hand while holding up a lighter for "wake me up when september ends" which was dedicated to the victims of 9-11. But that was to be expected ( Read more... )