ive been thinking too much. this is anything but space... this is... argh! i have to type it out. it's driving me crazy. so...has it really come to this? a two way street. a fork in the road. one choice - two options. absolutes. no turning back.

Autonomy vs. Intimacy
opposites?

Love is patient... 
love is kind...
It does not envy... 
it does not boast ( Read more... )

something inside of me wants to believe
yearns to believe. 
but i need more than that. 
i need something relevant
i need something that speaks to my individual heart
i can't live off processed phrases and ideas
i need truth. i need god.

i need to be held back 
so that i can push through
so that i can be tested 
so that i can know what i'm made of

life is so ( Read more... )

 
( Read more... )

and  i've never been so alive!

i was talking to someone yesterday. we discussed how much easier it would be to just let ourselves stop feeling.  we wondered if it was worth the effort. worth the loneliness, and worth the price it might someday take to remedy the distance.  it's unexplainable how much one person can feel.  the emotions that can pass through... no not pass through ( Read more... )

"he told me once
he forgot himself and his
heart opened up like a 
door with a loose latch
and everything fell out and
he tried for days to put
it all back in the proper
order, but finally he 
gave up and left it there
in a pile and loved
everything equally."

"if you hold on to the handle, she
said, it's easier to maintain the illusion
of control. But it's more ( Read more... )

Summer time and the wind is blowing, 
outside in lower chelsea.
And I dont know what Im doing in this city,
The sun is always in my eyes
It crashes through the windows
and i'm sleeping on the couch
when i came to visit you
that's when i knew

-Third Eye Blind
"Motorcycle Driveby"

where do i fit into this story?
life is so much about choices.
and i'm begining to ( Read more... )

that stupid groundhog was on crack.

"do not doubt the man who is searching for truth,

doubt the man who finds it."

- unknown

wow. this was, to say the least, a very different week for me. mentally draining in every way possible. emotionally taxing in every way possible. and honestly, i am just so glad it is over with, and that all involved are now in the process of a healing.  this week was very humbling for me. but i really and truly needed some humbling. i'm not sorry ( Read more... )