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[aeroplaneyes]

i was, just now, going through some old entries of mine and remembering certain parts about my past that i had managed to forget. so much is going on in my life right now and yet, it constantly feels like nothing will ever happen. sometimes i literally sit and stare at the wall waiting for something to do. ive had an old friend contact me after

Comments

[aeroplaneyes]

i dont know, david, i feel like ive changed a lot in the past five years. and i miss the days of the past when i could just enjoy my life, rather than be so miserable...

[cutepoisons]

i wish you were closer to me. everything is falling apart here too. i want to run and live far away. i miss you terribly.

at least there are puppies..

[aeroplaneyes]

ugh i miss you so much, merd! every time i think about wanting to leave LA, i think about how much fun we could have together if i were to move closer to you.

and yes, puppies really do make the world go round.

[aeroplaneyes]

hey carlie! thanks so much for your comment. it actually made me feel better to be able to put it in perspective like that. i had forgotten all about the whole quarter life crisis thing. i remember when i first heard about it, when i was like....i dont know, maybe 17, i was like thats BULLSHIT. but now, i see what they were all talking about!

the "where now?" question certainly is a difficult one to answer. especially when i hate my job and am starting to doubt this is really the right path for me.

[numbness4sound7]

I've been pretty bad at keeping up with lj lately, and I've been trying to catch up tonight. So sorry for reading this after almost a month! I feel that way a lot too. Like if I could just go back and do things differently... But I think that I'd probably make the same mistakes again. When I look back at old entries I see how trivial things used to be. The last year of college after I was mysteriously sick I spent the first half desperately trying to get my life back to that, but I realized eventually that it wasn't who I wanted to be anymore. I couldn't just ignore my problems and be immature. So in the end I was glad to graduate and get away from everything. But now I feel myself being wicked antisocial on purpose trying to get away from the college 'me', as I'm finding those people who I thought were my friends have no grasp on what it is to have health issues. But it's my fault because I hid them from them all.
But anyway, I suppose my point is that it's not too late to become someone else, but we can't go back :/

[aeroplaneyes]

yeah, seems like we're having similar experiences. you're right though - we can only change who we become not who we have been. i suppose thats something. but i totally know how you feel about pushing people away and realizing your "friends" don't really relate to your life...

anyway, i hope you are well.

oh, and..the whole having a job thing isnt all its cracked up to be... :(