Fic: put that away, kaner

[aeroport_art]

Title: put that away, kaner
Fandom: NHL RPF
Characters: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Patrick Kane. He deserves his own warning.
Word Count: 1k
Notes: Like most hockey rpf, this ficlet was borne from chat. Naturally, the topic of Kaner being completely ridiculous in ways involving his dick came about. You ladies are amazing

Comments

[chibirhm]

WAIT I AM GOING TO MAKE TERRIBLE COMMENTS ALL THE TIME NOW.

YOU ARE WELCOME, UNIVERSE.

[aeroport_art]

UGGGHHH YOU ARE SIMULTANEOUSLY THE BEST AND THE WORST. LIKE ALL OF THE NHL

[puckling]

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. NO WORDS, ONLY DELIGHT. ONLY DEEEEELIGHT. ROOKIES. KANER BEING AN IDIOT. TAZER OWNING KANERS DICK (whatever, you totally meant it that way Jonny).

Claps a Hawk’s cap onto his head and shrugs the lid down low, which usually makes him feel better and like, ready to tackle whatever.

I CANNNNNNN'T. I CAAAAAAAN'T.

PORNY SEQUEL, Y/Y? :D

[aeroport_art]

Haha I dunno, I'm so bad at following up with promises! If the mood strikes me, then yeah :D woobie tazer totally deserves sex after having to deal with kaner

[puckling]

If you are so mooooooved to write it you totally should! :D :D :D

[nicolasechs]

This is the truest thing ever written:

Warnings: Patrick Kane. He deserves his own warning.

This entire story is just made of win because Kaner *would* delight in exposing himself to the rookies because he is THE WORST. ♥

[aeroport_art]

HE IS SERIOUSLY HORRIBLE. AGH I LOVE HIM

[lynnmonster]

You are a genius. GENIUS.

And Jonny DOES SO own Kaner's everything, right?

[aeroport_art]

YES. JONNY OWNS EVERYTHING KANER (and Kaner loves it, while Tazer is mostly exasperated)

[liketheroad]

I HAVE A COMPLAINT ABOUT THIS FIC AND MY COMPLAINT IS THAT IT'S NOT ONE MILLION WORDS LONGER.

ON THE OTHER HAND, THIS WAS BASICALLY THE GREATEST. Oh my god! It's good I'm alone in the house because I kept SHOUTING with delight and repeating lines aloud because they delighted me so much. YEAH, I DO. For example.

ALSO THIS: Jon stalks over and squeezes in front of Shawsy, Leddy, and Hayes, who stop inspecting Kaner’s junk hopefully because they realize how fucking gay-as-shit this all is and not because Jon is sending them a glare that could probably set their clothes on fire. Once they look properly cowed, Jon turns to Pat.
ONCE THEY LOOK PROPERLY COWED. OH TAZER, I WEEP FOR YOU.

[aeroport_art]

EEEE YOUR ICON. *throws cheerios*

2nd EEEEE your commenty!!! You're making me blushhhhh especially since uh, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOULD WRITE EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD ONE MILLION WORDS LONG (although you do a good job and have plenty of epics under your belt XD)

ONCE THEY LOOK PROPERLY COWED. OH TAZER, I WEEP FOR YOU.

The hard part is, I'm not even sure Tazer would know what "cowed" means D: is it terribly condescending to think that? but seriously, like. i'm always doing double-takes in nhl fic when the boys' come off too smart. multi-syllable words are kind OOC :/ WHICH IS WHY I LOVE THEM. BUT THEY DO MAKE FOR BORING INNER MONOLOGUERS