Comments | afgirlfriends2: I have a question.

sweetness1605 in afgirlfriends2

I have a question.

Jul 03, 2007 17:42

I'm sure most of you have had your boyfriends deploy or they're currently deployed. Did they ever detach themselves from you just a little bit being over there? Mine is doing it to me and my best friends husband does that to her so I was just wondering if it's normal or what. Thank you.

Comments 12

renewedme July 3 2007, 21:55:31 UTC

I think it's different for everyone, but I think it's completely normal for a person to detach themselves when put in similar situations. My fiance didn't, but we have a different situation from most people. I am his only family. In the beginning, he called me from Kuwait every day, then he called me or imed me every day from where he was for the first 2 months (he's moved around). I think when you only have 1 person to rely on, you stick by that person.

sweetness1605 July 4 2007, 05:39:08 UTC

I see where you're coming from. Thank you.

texas_veggiegrl July 4 2007, 00:37:52 UTC

Everybody reacts diffrently personally my hunnie didnt but we had a diffrent situation then most people.Its not abnormal for your boyfriend to be detaching himself.

There are 5 emotional stages of deployement predeployment,deployment,sustainment,redeployment,and post deployment.In the predeployment stage there is:
-Anticipation of loss vs. denial
-Train-up/long hours away
-Getting affairs in order
-Mental/physical distance
-Arguments

I got this from http://www.hooah4health.com/deployment/familymatters/emotionalcycle.htm#ch3

it talks more indepth about the diffrent emotional stages of deployment

sweetness1605 July 4 2007, 05:39:46 UTC

I'll definately check that out. Thanks for beinging that to my attention I appreciate it.

obsidianbttrfli July 4 2007, 02:34:39 UTC

mine did half way through his deployment when his Dad went crazy on us but then we got to talk on line more b/c his job changed and we grew closer... I actually miss some of those convos...

sweetness1605 July 4 2007, 05:41:17 UTC

See that's what I'm talking about. All his previous messages ended with I miss you, Love ya or how much he couldn't wait to get home and be with me and my son and ever since his leave he's just been so different and distant.

pink_traveler July 4 2007, 05:33:13 UTC

my boyfriend is so distant. i feel like i don't even have one ... and we've been together for two years. i almost forget what it is like to be happy with him. he's been deployed since march.

sweetness1605 July 4 2007, 05:42:03 UTC

I'm sorry to hear that. If you need someone to talk to I'm here.

oh gosh, here's a novel... kalaca July 5 2007, 02:11:46 UTC

i think i know what you mean when you say "detached". if i understand correctly... it doesn't necessarily mean that he's purposely pushing away... things have just shifted in that way that is subtle yet big enough for you to notice. i've talked to my gf who also has an army bf and we both were NOT happy when we first got it. we even yelled at our boys thinking it could change... haha. wtf right? anyways, here's my take on it because my boyfriend is doing it right now. he used to call more often. at least 3 times a week then now it's tapered off to about once a week or two weeks. the messages on myspace come less and are short and pretty basic. and i've noticed that it kinda goes on at both ends (mine and his). what i've come to realize is that when they first got there (especially Kuwait)... they were super homesick and bored because the army was still reorganizing and getting there shit together. so, of course they had the time to think of their most loved ones--- US! try to imagine yourself in there shoes... and then things started ( ... )