i loathe waking up loathing the fact im still alive. i loathe doing the same damn thing every damn day of every damn month. i loathe working with mary every damn day. i loathe having to put on a fake face at work. i loathe that it feels that my only home is 800 miles and 2 states away.

i've been beautiful violence, in the middle of dreamssomeone ( Read more... )

the first card is waiting to be played.

i'm at the fucking edge right now... ashley you fucking rock.

this is ending. i no longer have a place in this so soon enough it will be over.

it is beginning. it's gonna be fast, quick, and hard. this is soley my own choice, it's in my own best interest. it's gonna happen earlier than planned.

don't bother asking for i won't tell.

when the time is right you will know.

i feel like a mother fucking train wreck. i am so exhasted and tired and sore and have absolutely no energy to do anything. this morning i had plans to go look at this apartment and couldn't find the energy to do that. i just layed on the couch and watched juwanna man. i figured that my feeling this way may stem from a horrid lack of sleep so i ( Read more... )

so yesterday and today proved my theory that my parents only notice me when i fuck up or they want something. yesterday i stoped at home just to see what my parents thought of my new hair cut, all they did was offer me food they know i despise. no a mention of a hair cut or anything. then they call me on my cell phone while at work and leave a ( Read more... )

last night was great, i went out with sheila. we went to quite possibly the worst wendys ever. had tons of fun with her, but i always do. then i went to go to cold stone and this guy in front of me just stopped in front on galyans and put his car in park. i just barely missed hitting him so when i went around him i let him know what i thought of ( Read more... )

this entry is just random things i'm thinking or have knowledge of ( Read more... )

sunday i spent the day with sheila and had a very good time. had lots of fun. i love it when our plans don't go wrong. went to work in a bad mood. went home ( Read more... )

so last night was fun, did carish stuff, and went to sheila for a couple hours... mmm hmmm, loads of fun. she totaly rocks!!! that girl is so awesome and makes me feel spectabulous!!! look at that she makes me feel so good i had to make a new word up just to describe it. it is good, it is a mix of spectacular and fabulous. then left probally ( Read more... )

i think i'm feelin better, a little bit atleast. work sucked last night, and people that work at the elk grove store scare me so much. josh is not hot ( Read more... )