Here's some uplifting news. A duck just refuses to die. It has survived three situations that really ought to have killed it: being shot, being stuck in a refrigerator for two days, and flatlining on the operating table.

Read it here. There are no pictures of half-eaten corpses on this page.

I was in Indigo yesterday, and I ran across a book with this quotation on the back:

When you die
God and the angels
will hold you accountable
for all the pleasures
you were allowed in life
that you denied yourself.

I liked it, so I thought I'd share it with y'all. Enjoy!

I have reason to believe that the Earth is being invaded by body-snatching aliens, and that they've already gained a strong foothold. We have to fight back before it's too late. Fortunately, the invaders, by their very nature, don't stand up well to direct confrontation ( Read more... )

Hey, do you know what happens when you spray Listerine in your eye ( Read more... )

I just read a news article about a Ukrainian couple that murdered and ... wait for it ... ate their neighbour. It went like this ( Read more... )

I've got this great idea for a story ( Read more... )

It was either 7 or 2007, and considering it's only been a day and a bit, I didn't think I'd be able to come up with another 2000 ways in which the new year already sucks.

1. Kayla flaked out on me, leaving me alone once again. Why are people (and not just women) always rejecting me in the most retarded ways? Like telling me that my juggling is ( Read more... )

"Yes, we're definitely going the wrong way," I said ( Read more... )

You guys have to watch this. I'm no marketeer, so I can't comment on how effective a commercial this is (though I do have some opinions on the matter), but it's pretty hilarious.

The owner of the company I work for is totally nuts! In a good way ( Read more... )