Sometimes I have weeks that create an image in my head of my obituary, which reads, “We’ll never know the amazing things he would have failed at.”

But hey, at least there’s a cure for the glummies; Alcohol™️, drink the fuck up, chump!

Hi livejournal, OR ELJAY AS US COOL MOTHERFUCKERS KNEW IT ( Read more... )

OMFG YOU LIEK TOTULLY WONT GUES WHAT HAPPND!!11!1!1 ( Read more... )

If anyone has an extra ticket or a ticket they are not going to use for the MSI concert, I am a good person to sell it to. A very good person indeed.

It also may or may not be paid for in cash and the added bonus of fellatio.

Say it with me now;

Fellatio.

Shoryo deha minno lota.

Meeyan dero kumastai perashu duvkorrn. Parla qeesto borigna. Fuck. Dee poshor kryptada Allocatzen Bremeeda.

Recently a lot of not good things have been happening. Not really bad... but very not good.

Why do I write in this? Deletion pending.

"What's with my fetish for rhetorical questions" would probably be a better one

Oh sweet Jesus.

I made some drunken-ass post last night, fucking ridiculous.

Fucking. Ridiculous.

Glad I caught it before someone read it.

Great America Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.

Or all three...

Who's down?

I hope I don't get hunted down and slaughtered like a pig for that one. That would be a buzzkill ( Read more... )

This is the best birthday ever.

I got exactly what I wanted...

Martha Stewart was released from prison.

Hooray!

Yeah, I have this week off from work.

I've been in a good mood the past few days.

I still haven't seen a doc or dentist.

Getting drunk tonight and walking around downtown MV.

Wheeee!

If anyone wants to do something they should give me a ring.

I woke up this morning covered in blood. I don't know what it's from or why it was bleeding ( Read more... )