Traffic in my HEAD

[ainjo17]

 I'm refusing to log into MySpace again. It's really annoying to avoid Gray again. Gray is someone I sorta call "My Ex", although our relationship was complicated, she impacted my life both positive and highly negative. Gray is just a mystery woman who somehow walked into my life. At the age of 15 I met Gray. I met her through my friend Kay, Kay

Comments

[tally_ann]

ahh, first kiss, first love...that's so hard to get over...

here's a crappy piece of advice, coming from a drama magnet with a messed up love life: all or nothing. if it hurts you to be just friends with her, tell her the truth and break it all off. don't talk or im or email each other for a while. once you're completely sure you're over her, best-case scenario: have a new girlfriend, you can go back to being friends with her.....but like i said, crappy advices coz it tends to make you insane ;) you're better of not listening to me ;)

anyway...i hope things work out between you guys. somehow. in some way that makes you feel better :)

[ainjo17]

=) Thanks. I appreciate the advice. The feeling that remains is a bit much different than it was awhile back. It's like my feelings want her, but I really don't. I don't always feel the pressure of her on me all the time, and when it comes, it goes away right away. We'll see what happens, as for a fact I know I might mention more of her here on LJ.

[xxtoxiclovexx01]

Omg this is so strange but i think i know exactly how you feel. You sound like you loved her and was nervous around her because of that love, i completely understand that feeling. It must be really hard now, because you guys arent together and stuff, but i can imagine how uncomfortable you must feel, and at the same time, telling yourself you're not uncomfortable and everythings cool. If she still wants to be "friends" then just maybe she's willing to take it a little further again later? I dunno, just a thought. But yeah, in a way i understand how you feel.

[ainjo17]

Yup. But since now I am more mature than I was 3 years ago, I kind of understand her. She's 10 years older than I am. She already lived her youth and I'm barely starting. I wouldn't want to ruin mine just so I can catch up with her. I'm sure that if we were together. I'd get tired of it, and whenever we would get into small arguments, she would mention that, and well... it's true. We'll see what happens =)

[janelleandheart]

It's better to just straight out tell her why you're upset then avoid.
Avoiding is so much stress and you don't want that on you.
Since you guys have been through a lot she'll understand.

[ainjo17]

I've thought of that, and it makes so much sense. But I just don't want our friendship to be so awkward, especially because I still want to be her friend. But if I keep having feelings, I know I will have to step up and tell her.

[peekaboos]

That sounds like a romance novel. Haha. I wanted to keep reading! Well, if anything... you could write a book.

[ainjo17]

I know it's not edited for crap haha, but if it was i bet it would be awesome. Thanks, I might consider something like that for the future.

[supahhbad]

Everything Happens For A Reason.

Dont dwell in the past, live for the future.

Here's an attempt to make u laugh: