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Comments 64

poziomeczka May 4 2011, 00:38:34 UTC
god this is just...everything. your style? your imagery?
Marcus was growing accustomed to having Esca look at him with that haughty gaze. That, he could tolerate. To find him in his bed, however, unasked, unbidden, was a different matter. Marcus had never taken his slave to his bed for good reason, and it had nothing to do with not wanting him there. Marcus could not tear his eyes away from him, and he clenched his fingers around the doorframe. In the guttering lamplight, Esca's sleep-mussed hair stuck out in odd angles, like a gold wreath around his head, savagely wrought. He looked like a wild creature, one of the old, barbaric gods of the wood still worshipped in this strange country, come to Marcus's bed to ensnare him and tempt him from the ways of reason and decorum.

a simply stunning string of sentences

and yay their...bedmates?

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ainsoph15 May 4 2011, 21:27:43 UTC
♥ You picked out my very favourite part - my ode to Esca's hair! XD Thank you so much :)

And yes, they are bedfellows :D FOR WARMTH AND PRACTICALITY, OKAY? ;D

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poziomeczka May 4 2011, 21:35:22 UTC
I LOVED IT. i adore Esca's mop of hair. doesn't get enough love if you ask me.

also i totally did not remember that i've posted this comment. shows how out of it i was at the time lol

I LOVE WHERE THIS PRACTICALITY IS GOING. really reminded me of that ( little cute Esca look a like ) savvierthanu had on her journal

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ainsoph15 May 4 2011, 22:23:43 UTC
OMG, that is uncanny! ♥

HA HA HA. PRAGMATIC ACCIDENTAL CUDDLING FTW XD

Heh. Esca's hair/Marcus's freckles OTP?

(I hope you get some sleep tonight, bb! ♥)

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ainsoph15 May 4 2011, 21:29:18 UTC
:D Thank you so much! I'm so happy you like it! ♥

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ficangel May 4 2011, 00:52:28 UTC
This is, gah, so good. Please tell me that you will continue!

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ainsoph15 May 4 2011, 21:30:47 UTC
Thank you so much! Ha ha, yes, I am planning to continue, right through the timeline of the film and beyond it!

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carmarthen May 4 2011, 03:30:40 UTC
I AM DEAD. DEAD. CUDDLING FOR WARMTH.

HOORAY.

(Also, augh, the scene with the slave boy. Really upsetting. Marcus's dad had douchey friends.)

I did notice a few funky little things, if you want them (the only big one is that Marcus is the irrumator; the boy is the fellator. Romans!).

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ainsoph15 May 4 2011, 21:39:03 UTC
PRACTICAL BEDSHARING IZ PRACTICAL, K? XD

Marcus's dad had douchey friends. YES. That idea came from the conversation Marcus had in the arena with his uncle, when he asked what his father was like, and gets really riled up when Aquila tries to placate him. It just seemed like there was a lot going on under the surface, that he couldn't reconcile his idealised image of his father with the man he actually might have been in life, and not only because he lost the Eagle.

(Oh god, I am an idiot. Of course he is. Yes, if there's anything else you've spotted, tell me, either here or PM me with it ♥)

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carmarthen May 4 2011, 22:23:30 UTC
So much yes about Marcus's dad. I really want to see more deconstructing the idealized image of Marcus's father, and "perfect Roman"...well, that might not be such a nice thing.

(Will PM you! Not an idiot. :-P)

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carmarthen May 5 2011, 23:09:35 UTC
Oh, and one other little thing:

and straight as a pila.

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captsparrow4evr May 4 2011, 07:49:44 UTC
I am getting ready to go to bed and saved this chapter for last. It was well worth the wait! Excellent characterization and detail. I do hope there is more to come.

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ainsoph15 May 4 2011, 21:42:00 UTC
I hope you had a lovely sleep, sweetheart! Thank you; I'm so glad you liked it. Oh yes, there is a whole lot more to come - hopefully soon! ♥

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