I've become such a slob. I have no aspirations, nothing I'm trying to reach. My life is spent walking in a constant aura I've oversimplified and called "unhappiness". I haven't worked really hard on anything for weeks, my piano music is seriously lagging behind, I have not even come close to finsihing taking the notes for The Scarlet Letter in ( Read more... )

We discussed the future of music today in improv, which is already a painful enough topic because I cannot stand talking about the future to begin with. It is one of the few topics that upsets me. I never want to be an adult. I look into the future, and I see a tunnel that keeps getting narrower and narrower until I can't breathe and I'm stuck, and ( Read more... )

PSATs and Districts are over.
I will find out how I did on my PSATs in December.
I will find out how I did in Districts on Friday.
I wish time weren't so mean to me.
On another note, I miss Devin so very much. He left me a message on my phone. Hopefully I will voyage to the city soon and be loved.

Two important things happen in the next few days. I have PSATs, and while its not a huge stress factor, this idea that life will be less pleasant if I don't do well flits through my head on occasion, regardless of what I tell it. The second is District Chorus next Monday.
Tomorrow I must apply for my driver's test. My mandatory six months of ( Read more... )

Escaped from my house today with my friends and met a nice boy wearing wings. After, got to go bowling, which was fun.
Now I feel sick, which is not fun.
This morning was the crayola parade in Easton. It was nifty - everyone was dressed up in costumes.
Tomorrow peut-être I will go to the Renaissance Fair? That would be awesome fun.
Bedtime!

It was foggy this morning, and it wasn't too cold. The trees and grass were still green enough to match beautifully with the fog.
I'm too isolated. Whenever I think of myself in relation to the world, it's always very separate - the world inside my skin, and the world outside my skin. I want to be a part of the world, living in it, not with it. I ( Read more... )

I've been afraid to write much since CTY ( Read more... )

HaikuHe may be in love ( Read more... )

My class is wonderful - I've been writing and writing and after feeling so stifled for so long it's a welcome sensation.
I'm distancing myself from Josh, which is healthy, I know.
Something's still missing.

Well, I am here at Skidmore. I haven't found anybody yet, and it terrifies me. What if they're not coming? What if they've forgotten me? What if they don't like me anymore?
Ah well. I'm not going to find them on the internet, so I'll be brave and venture off to find them.