SO life is so good. Maddy told me yesterday that i influenced her to live a more positive life. That really makes me happy, i think that i would like to help more people like that, because it is definetly a good feeling. ofhdsjfks. i think someone is here.

i feel as if i am floating through a nightmare, a twisted dream. This nightmare is being in a room full of people and feeling so alone. My body aches, my heart is screaming. I feel so devoid, like i cannot do anything. Eating is even a challenge, trying to get myself over this is going to be one of the hardest things i have ever done ( Read more... )

so, i havent written in this thing for like years, ever since i guess i got off the whole being online a lot- listening to bright eyes- doing drugs- making myself depressed kinda trip. Well, Matt broke up with me yesterday, yes, ladies and gentleman the "cutest couple ever" finally broke up. So my world is basiclly falling apart around me, or so it ( Read more... )

I think that the worst feeling in the world is feeling like this; loosing myself. Basiclly this fucking feeling of being unnatractive, unintelligent and normal compared to everyone eles. Basiclly like my 'cool' factor has been diminshed to 0. I guess maybe it should be attributed to my lack of friends, or my shitty relashionship or yeah.

So, its been an intersting week. Currently i am sitting in Mr.Flanders room listening to music, trying not to smoke! I felt like a journal entry was well deserved. I had a dream about Leanna last night, i mis her , this is like the 4th dream i have had since we havent been friends, eh. I also had a dream that my math teacher (???) was drug ( Read more... )

i wish i could relay to you the comfort in which this thought feels, and how the irrationality of it is so fucking comforting. More comforting, and so more viseral and real than any other thing. ever.

maybe im just a stupid fucking girl, or an impulsive person. but i am going to do it,
and hope it fucking kills me.

i wish i had enough nerve.
i think about it all the time, i just wish i could actually do something. for once.

avoidanceofyou: I can't decide whether I'm more happy about you being my lover or you being my best friend. I guess they kind of go together though. I just can't tell which I like more, so I take both.

ive got a really strange idea brewing, it scares me but is comforting at the same time.

:)

Words ( Read more... )