This is really good. You have a lot of talent, but I think you should get a beta reader. You said in your comment on my lj that you don't speak English as a first language, right? You had a few spelling errors that could have been easily corrected, and a few grammatical errors
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thanks for reviewing. I've just post "should we care" on oceanfin and probably wouldn't have without your comments so thank u ;)
don't hesitate to comment on the way I put the characters, it's sometimes difficult for me to find the right tone and transcribe exactly what I mean
you'll be surprised to learn that all is true in the computer babble, some systems really work like that, but I should probably make it more readable, it's must sound like chineese not only to danny!
oh, and what do you call oomph? yes, i know i suck with my missing vocabulary... but you want me to improve, don't you? lol
Anyway, great thanks for your reviews and I'll try to do better for my next fics! (a few ones in process, but i haven't found the time to make them readable yet... comming soon...)
Hey, no problem! I love reviewing. I find it fun. It helps give purpose to my life. (That's why DF stands for Devoted Fan).
I know what you mean about it being hard sometimes to put down what you really mean. Sometimes it feels like words are a clumsy medium for the ideas that go through my head.
For me, oomph is basically having a punch to a story, something that hammers that point home. In some stories it's not necessary, but but when you really want to show the reader "THIS is what I mean, THIS is why he/she does this and feels that", you need oomph. In some cases, you can see it in your head but the reader, not having your vision, doesn't really get it. You know?
~DF
PS. Can't wait to read more. You're very promising. *grins*
These are really good! I like the idea - of course, the one about possessiveness was my favourite, because I just LOVE the idea of Danny being jealous over Rusty. There are too many fics where Rusty lusts one-sidedly (And sometimes NOT so onesidedly) over Danny. Sure, Danny had a wife, but don't let a little thing like that throw you folks! Really...
Anyway, I really like the fics! Please write more... I read the other posts as well, and for someone whose first language isn't english, your english is really amazing. Are you fluent? I'm so jealous, if you're bilingual, it's one of my life ambitions. Yeah, so... really, really good posts!
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don't hesitate to comment on the way I put the characters, it's sometimes difficult for me to find the right tone and transcribe exactly what I mean
you'll be surprised to learn that all is true in the computer babble, some systems really work like that, but I should probably make it more readable, it's must sound like chineese not only to danny!
oh, and what do you call oomph? yes, i know i suck with my missing vocabulary... but you want me to improve, don't you? lol
Anyway, great thanks for your reviews and I'll try to do better for my next fics! (a few ones in process, but i haven't found the time to make them readable yet... comming soon...)
Reply
I know what you mean about it being hard sometimes to put down what you really mean. Sometimes it feels like words are a clumsy medium for the ideas that go through my head.
For me, oomph is basically having a punch to a story, something that hammers that point home. In some stories it's not necessary, but but when you really want to show the reader "THIS is what I mean, THIS is why he/she does this and feels that", you need oomph. In some cases, you can see it in your head but the reader, not having your vision, doesn't really get it. You know?
~DF
PS. Can't wait to read more. You're very promising. *grins*
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so here is a new post! and you'd better read it because it's your fault I wrote it instead of my very-important-report-due-for-monday!
yep, your last livingston fic gave me a few ideas...
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Anyway, I really like the fics! Please write more... I read the other posts as well, and for someone whose first language isn't english, your english is really amazing. Are you fluent? I'm so jealous, if you're bilingual, it's one of my life ambitions. Yeah, so... really, really good posts!
Reply
and being fluent is my ambition too, thought a decent english would be quite satisfying to me.
and where are you from, by the way?
I didn't write anything in quite a long time. I lack both time and inspiration i guess... would you have any idea of fic for me to write?
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