so today was lame. i cant sleep so much on my mind. i miss my girls so much its really starting to affect me more everyday. now the one thing that kept my sanity in place has turned their back on me basically. i just need a break. ive poured my heart out for too many people and i end up in the same place everytime. its not fair but i guess thats ( Read more... )

yea this journal is getting a little repetative but thats what happens in my life. i met an amazing person about 2 months ago. smart, funny, stunningly beautiful. i probably let myself get too close too fast, but this person brought out a side of me that i thought that i'd never find again. hitting things off the way we did and how great we got ( Read more... )

so officially today she told me that we cant work out, because of how we fought. what a fucking cop out. if you dont want to be with someone then just say it. or if you are afraid of what could be then say that too. dont lead a person on for weeks and then let them down, in text nevertheless. why am i cursed to be unhappy. i mean isnt it bad enough ( Read more... )

i am disgusted with myself, why i let myself get into this situation. i opened myself up again to someone i thought i could trust and thought might be good for me. but in the end it just fucked me. i dont even know what to say. i am so hurt. so let down, again. i am just sick and tired of being led around. i just want to be with someone who is good ( Read more... )

so yet another mindless rant about my fucked up head. divorce sucks in every way possible. my future ex makes everything impossible. i feel terrible that i wont be around my girl. it physically hurts me. i really need to go to a dr about it. i feel short of breathe and my chest gets overly tense. not a healthy way of living. and i feel bad that i ( Read more... )

Can we start again?
Go back in time to where we started.
Can we start again?
What we had can't be discarded.

I feel your heart against mine
So take a breath and close your eyes

So just about any time I am alone there is only one thing I can think
of. Why will my mind not let this person go why can't I accept I will never see this person again. Or know what it could be like. I feel terrible but what can I do about it. I can't just drop all that I have
and try to persue this. I gues it's my destiny
to be miserabele toward

nuff said

ok so yea its been a really long time since ive even looked at this thing. i guess when you are this far from home it kinda gets to you. dont get me wrong im really enjoying what im doing and where i get to travel to. its shit gets to you ( Read more... )