It's funny how I act like I deserve to go home early just because I'm doing my job and that's stressful.

I just finished doing a full hour of yoga, following the old Sunstone Fire Series. I haven't been able to make myself do that in ages - the last time I did was I think in early March, when I was still unemployed and trying to work out the pain in my tailbone. It feels good to be able to accomplish something like that, and I felt so strong the whole ( Read more... )

Fell asleep around 2:15am last night. Started waking up around 7:30, but stayed in bed and went back to sleep until 9. I'm awake now and have just taken today's dose of medication. I feel a little yawny and tired, but I'm also sitting straight-backed at my computer at 9am and typing instead of drowsing on the couch or in the bed or something. I'm ( Read more... )

10/26/15, 1:11 PM: my first 200 mg dose of modafinil. Time to see if this stuff is what I've been looking for. I freaked out earlier because I checked the tracking number before I checked my mailbox, and the USPS said my drugs had been delivered and signed for last week while I was out of town. HAD MY MEDICATION BEEN STOLEN?! No, it turns out they ( Read more... )

It's 4am. In four hours I intend to be at a laundromat washing some clothes I want to wear at Art Outside. Which I need to leave for by 10 or 11am to get there in time for my first volunteer shift. And between now and then I need to pack everything into the car, prep the cats' litter box and food, and convene with Will to get his stuff as well. And ( Read more... )

had a dream that i was some sort of teacher last night, but the entire content of the dream was me showing up to work at a building where we were temporarily having classes for some reason and it was a hospital/school and security was very tight and i had pot on me and i kept having to think about how to hide it and then when i was trying to play ( Read more... )

I hosted bible study at my apartment tonight. It was a pleasant errand - having five other guys come over and discuss the motions of faith and the ways they relate to the difficulties we know from our individual experiences. Most of what we talked about was music and movies and books, which was nice. Everyone really liked my place and I was able to ( Read more... )

I fall asleep at 3am and wake again at 11:30 every day, still too tired to get out of bed but at least my mind is willing to exist ( Read more... )

I feel like all I do sometimes is make space for people ( Read more... )

An interesting observation from earlier this afternoon: I very rarely put myself in situations where there is little or no stimulus. To be in a room with one thing to do and no reason to leave is overwhelming, and so I encumber myself with myriad distractions and helpmeets. A portable speaker here, a notebook there, and before you know it I'm ( Read more... )