dont get me wrong
im not in a bad mood
nor am  i unhappy with my life
i have really no reason to be

i know its no ones fault
i know that it may be my own
but it still kind of hurts
and it kinda hurts alot
and throughout my forty minute walk back from maxs
i thought about what it was that was upsetting me
and i picked it apart
and i guess i realised that i let ( Read more... )

you wanna no what the best feeling in the world is..

ill give you a hint.

its not climbing to the top of mount everest
its not taking that pee after you have been holding it for an hour
and its definately not going on the biggest rollarcoaster in the world after waiting in a 3hour line

,.. no im not talking about feeling it inside
like love.. 
or pain.. 
( Read more... )

i wonder if im being selfish.
selfish for wanting to feel something like that the way i want to. 
i mean i have to be selfish,
how can i not.
to feel something that i havent felt in awhile
something i for some reason im starting to miss. 
i think that what happens.
i start to miss it and then i go out to try and find it
but i wonder, 
why?
who in there right ( Read more... )

I wish i had some words of wisdom, some topic to discuss thats been building up inside me but theres nothing. nothing that ive been meaning to discuss, to get out in the open becase it kills me to hold it back. I guess its because more or less, with everything that i feel, everything that i may be going through, all of it means nothing because for ( Read more... )

I think its inevitable for poeple to have these moments. The ones where everythign you recall makes apart of you feel like your leaving so much behind. That its time to finally move on, that what you had was more precious then you though until this precise moment where you recall it all. You recall the night that you cried yourself to sleep because ( Read more... )

wow. it seems like forever since i've been able to write on these pages again.. seems even longer since i've thought about something meaningful to write. Howeverm, i have come to realise that without this place i seem to get very hostile, i seem to just not let mysaelf kthink about things or let things get to me. I guess nothing really is getting ( Read more... )

you know what i like.. i like today. i like days like these, where for some reason and no reason at all im just in a good mood. and even though  i have a busted lip that hurts super bad, and a sudden realization of everything that is coming up and all the money i need that i don't have, and the house that needs to be renovated but nothings getting ( Read more... )

So here i am .. sitting at my boyfriends house and he tell me of a conversation he had. did i ask him to have it no. did i read it yes. and did he say things that i didn't want him to say yes. so get mad at me for something i didn't ask for. you wanna know something im good at. its surpressing everything i feel. its hiding it from the people i want ( Read more... )

oh that man.. i hate him with a passion and today wanted to punch him in the face, amnd almost did. I mean fuck, i don't think i have ever in my life yelled at a teacher before today. not even to garant, and i despised that man. but today, well it was an exception. like 14 people drop the class and he still thinks he a good teacher. 3 people get ( Read more... )

my dreams lately are so.. real. like real nightmares, and it scares me. when people are dying and it feels real. and im in my dreams crying and screaming. and then i wake up and thank the lord it wasn't real. but then i get in this state and go.. hmmm dreams are suppose to mean something, or de ja vu or something like that. and then i go in this ( Read more... )