in the words of an amazing friend of mine: "i'm trying to keep you alive and you just don't care."

i'm sorry. to everyone. he was right...it seems like that and i'm sorry. i can't begin to explain how sorry i am and if you're reading this, i'm sorry that you ave to erad this because it means i'm not there to tell you so in person.

i'm okay. i miss ( Read more... )

to make a long story short: i'm stupid. incredibly wonderfully amazingly stupid ( Read more... )

you know what.

i'm tired.

my feet are cold.

and i have no energy whatsoever to post. so. i'm gonna talk to alex and then go find crickets for my snake.

-- r

I can't tolerate your sadness
Cause it's me you are drowning
I won't allow any happiness
Cause everytime you laugh, I feel so guity, I feel so guilty

Am I forced to have any regret
I've become the ( Read more... )

i heard in biology today that a 'swansong' is a person's last action or whatever before they die. that's kinda sad.

i'm dying of heat exhaustion. it's over 100F here and i'm scared im gonna pass out. i've been through a shitload of icepacks all day and it's nothelping. i have a headache :/

i'm upset with laura because now she's started "hurting" ( Read more... )

i'm really tired of this. offically tired. i'm sick of having dreams, i'm sick of waking up crying, i'm sick of going into jessica's room and sleeping on the floor. i'm sick of being alone. i'm tired of the bullshit, i just wanna be okay. i want to live. i don't want to exist. i want to be healthy and happy and i want a perfect body. i want clear ( Read more... )

i'm really tired. i took 4 sleeping pills last night at 7:40 and by 8:00 i was dead. sleeping that is, and i didn't get up until 7:30. so i got roughly 12 hours of sleep but i'm still exhasuted. and i'm hungry.

i've lost 15 pounds this weekend and i dont know why. or where it came from. mostly my stomach i guess. i can count my ribs one by one, and ( Read more... )

i'm reading a new book. it's pissing me off. it's about sex and a quest of which i've given up. 6 pages into it it has a very intimate sex scene that's just gay. :/ i dont' like that girl.

i'm so tired. i wen tto bed at 2:30 and i got up at 5:15. i'm exhausted. i havent eaten for days. i lost track after 3 or 4. :/ im tired of being who i am.

i ( Read more... )

i had a panic attack last night :/ it was scary. i haven't had one for awhile and mrs. johnson let me and jessica stay up for a bit longer cos i was talking to her. mrs. johnson can be nice but sometimes she's a real bitch. ugh.

my jaw hurts. manda accidentally kicked me in the jaw last night (long story...) and it's swollen today because of where ( Read more... )

i feel like i'm a dead walking the earth.

"Give in to the dead man, then: do not fight with a corpse--
What glory is it to kill a man who is dead?"
-- "Antigone", Scene V

"How often I have heard the story of Niobe,
Tantalos' wretched daughter, how the stone
Clung fast about her, ivy-close: and they say
The rain falls endlessly
And sifting soft snow; her ( Read more... )

maybe i should do some.

i'm mad at a certain someone :/

tomorrow is 4:20

i wish i had some vodka

6 more weeks of school...until i'm doomed into hell.

my head hurts

i passed out in the shower on friday and i hit my head on the tile. my head really hurts.

i'm weak.

i'm stupid.

the end