I relate to this a lot. If you ever finish and want another beta (I can't draw for shit, so it would just be in a writing sense), I'll be around - and probably still rewriting my freaking novel. Because central message and how do you get the words out the right way and blahhhh. It went so much faster when I didn't have to worry about those things. xD
The "ARG, the CRAAAAFT" cracked me up so much, because sometimes that's exactly what's going on with how people express writing and other art. And if you can see the wheels turning too much, then there's usually too much intellect and too little art/emotion.
OTOH, blather is not much for other people to work with either.
But there's this whole world of feelings inside me, things that I can't often put into direct words, things expressed best by obscuring them with metaphors and clunky prose, things I'd write poetry about if I had any faith in my ability to write in verse, things you can't say effectively by just saying them.
I understand where you're coming from, though. In the past seven days I've had two people provide unsolicited, unexpected, in-depth, brutally honest criticisms of five stories, and I'm beginning to receive rejection letters from the latest batch of stuff I've sent out. I'm having another crisis--a different one than yours, but equally bone-rattling, I'm sure.
But, and I know you didn't ask for this, your craft is nothing to worry about. Both fiction and non- (although, selfishly, I'd rather read your fiction, because you're really good at it). I say this as a professional editor who has read a lot of stuff.
It's actually lucky you got feedback, and it probably happened mostly because you weren't paying him. A lot of times, people keep their commentary to themselves if it's part of a job for hire.
It's always a little odd to think "oh this is great!!!" about something, then receive a simple critique that makes you look at it with a fresh viewpoint and realize, "Oh! I can see why this isn't so great..."
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OTOH, blather is not much for other people to work with either.
Finding the happy middle is always a challenge.
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I understand where you're coming from, though. In the past seven days I've had two people provide unsolicited, unexpected, in-depth, brutally honest criticisms of five stories, and I'm beginning to receive rejection letters from the latest batch of stuff I've sent out. I'm having another crisis--a different one than yours, but equally bone-rattling, I'm sure.
But, and I know you didn't ask for this, your craft is nothing to worry about. Both fiction and non- (although, selfishly, I'd rather read your fiction, because you're really good at it). I say this as a professional editor who has read a lot of stuff.
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I fear much of my writing is hollow, too.
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