I found this a while back and thought it was funny:

I. A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids’ Table

MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.

DAD: O.K.

GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.

DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.

UNCLE: I’m having sex right now.

DAD: We all are.

MOM: Let’s ( Read more... )

I had a really long, detailed, movie-like dream last night, but I can't remember it. I remember waking up in the middle of it, thinking, "Oh man, what a weird dream. I have to remember this." And then I recapped it to myself to ensure that I remember. And I was sure that I would. But of course, I don't. It was some sort of situation where I'm stuck ( Read more... )

Ok, this is pissing me off. Whenever someone wins an award or gets some big honor or whatever, they always say, "I am so humbled." Why do they say that?? That is the opposite of what they are. humbled= having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience. You feel humbled when you do something stupid, or when you have to do something ( Read more... )

I did something really stupid yesterday. I ended up watching a program on tv called "The Last Day on Earth." It talked about the things in the universe that are currently threatening the human race. I don't know how many they listed, but I started watching at number 6. Thank god I only saw six, because if I had seen more, I think I might have lost ( Read more... )

Why does this country use so many plastic bags? We don't need all of these plastic bags. I get a plastic bag for one snickers bar, or for two books. For one DVD at the video store. I get a plastic bag if I buy a tube of lipstick (which I don't buy, but this is just an example). Can't we carry things in our arms anymore? Don't we have fingers and ( Read more... )

Why does this always happen to me. Everyone in my life will just decide to not email me back. I'm waiting for responses from like 5 different people for five different things. It always makes me feel like a total loser. Or like my email is broken.

Ok this whole body image issue. Everyone's talking about how to help women have better body image. There are shows on tv, articles in newspapers/magazines, the Dove Campaign, health programs, Tyra Banks, etc. But it's a losing battle. Instead of women getting collectively more accepting of their bodies, we are getting worse and worse every day. And ( Read more... )

You know who's adorable? (Other than Barack Obama) Ryan, from Paranormal State. It's this show on A&E and he's this guy who investigates paranormal activity. He's adoooooorable.

I feel bad. This morning as I was about to leave for work, my cats ran into the bedroom (where they are not allowed), and I didn't have time to coax them out so I had to just take a spray bottle to them. It worked, but I feel bad that that's the last interaction we had before I left. I tried to pet Indy quickly to let him know that the spraying was ( Read more... )

You know who's hot? That Anderson Cooper. Those squinty eyes, that gray hair, that adorable laugh. Who isn't in love with him?