Ophelia drowned.

[alex_in_the_sky]

So I am reading this book now called "Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls" by Mary Pipher, PH.D. This book was actually given to me by a dear friend's Mom for my highschool graduation present (I had expressed interest in the book on one occassion and she remembered). The inscription reads

Comments

[katrinar]

'You all die at 15.'"

man. just thinking about this makes me want to kill myself.

have i unconciously given up myself for the cultural equivalent of womanhood?

argh.

[alex_in_the_sky]

That is what this book suggests. The thing is, reading her observations and theories and statistics, etc., I believe that this IS what happened to me. I can even remember the defining moments

[katrinar]

Girls are supposed to smile. If I'm having a bad day, teachers and kids tell me to smile. I've never heard them say that to a guy."

i never thought about that until right now, and man, it's true.

holy crap. i don't know if i could handle reading that book right now...

Feminism is considered to be a dirty word.

[alex_in_the_sky]

I can't put the book down. It's terrifying, but it's not something I didn't already know, even if much of it has been unconcious. Right now this book is making me feel like fighting back... to do my part. Step 1: Cancel my subscription to "Shape" magazine.

[weinerdawg]

i should probably read that book...

[alex_in_the_sky]

I think Dawn Weiner should read that book...

[weinerdawg]

well since im known as "weinerdawg" means me too

[alex_in_the_sky]

That's exactly my point! : )

It really is an amazing book Lisa. I think it could be really eye opening for you... for any woman really.

Obviously the book is not perfect, I mean she really does focus on the extremes, and she tries really hard to take the blame away from parents and place it on culture, which I think is fair but at the same time I think everything plays a part... not just culture, or just family. But, it's an amazing start to begin a process of self-reflection... and maybe some healing.

[meropa]

I think I died at 14. But I think I'm getting back to the old me. I actually like math again! And I don't feel fat and awkward as much.

[alex_in_the_sky]

Regarding the math thing... I've always sucked at it, or at least it was drilled into my head that I do. But, strangely enough, the two times in my entire life that I had female math teachers I got a B+ in one, and an A in the other. Huh. Makes you wonder....

Also, studies have recently been done in the States where girls and boys were separated in math and english classes. Girls marks went up drastically in maths and boys marks went up drastically in english. Funny how the absence of the opposite sex impacts academic performance so much. It gave the kids an opportunity to step out of their pre-determined social roles and actually excel.

[meropa]

I was good at it until middle school and had severe math anxiety though high school and college (even though I took some of the higher math courses in school and got decent marks).

I'm thinking that if I ever have a daughter, I'd definitely want to send her to an all-girls school.

[alex_in_the_sky]

Isn't it funny how girls develop anxiety right around puberty. I come from a family of mathematicians, yet I used to sit there during math tests and cry.

I used to think it was important for girls and boys to be integrated, but now I'm not so sure if an academic setting is the right place for that.

[cheriebear]

ive got to read that shit. instead of the book my dad lent me about a guy who murders his wife. apparently its hilarious.

[alex_in_the_sky]

It's a great book, unlike yet another piece of pop culture that glamorizes violence against women (which I'm assuming is the case if the book about murdering a woman is "hilarious").

You know, I'm starting to feel like I need to take a new direction in life... one of action against all the crap that enrages me on a daily basis. I really feel like there is a war on women, and women are at war with themselves.