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[alexythmia]

I want to lose 5 lbs by the time I leave to visit my family for Christmas. That's in 2 and a half weeks, so I don't think that's unreasonable. I know this contradicts what I wrote in one of my previous entries but I don't care right now. I know I can do it as long as I can control my bingeing. I can always lose weight, it's keeping it off that's

Comments

[windupchild]

I already watched the episode of Intervention, they have it on their website..and I don't have a tv, so I often hunt around for things to watch. It's a pretty intense episode, as I believe food addictions are sometimes much more complicated than alcohol/substance addictions..because as far as recovering, you can tell an alcoholic to never drink again. You can't tell someone with an eating disorder never to eat again. Anyway, the episode was a little disconcerting because the girl just reminded me a lot of myself, personality and thought pattern-wise.

[alexythmia]

That's what is so frustrating to me about eating disorders. You can never stay abstinent from food. It's like telling an alcoholic they can only drink socially. I'm looking for the episode with the bulimic. I think her name is Jessie? I can't seem to find it online, have you seen it?

Anyway, I just read your most recent post and I want you to know I understand and I'm sorry you're in so much pain right now. I'm always here if you need to vent, ok?

[alexythmia]

So the first treatment facility (Casa Palmera) Emily goes to is in my city about 15 minutes away. I've actually considered going to their weekly support group. Weird. Anyway, just felt like sharing that. =)

[girlfriend120]

I am going on vacation (read: have to wear a swimsuit) for Christmas. As much as you and I know how terrible restricting, crash dieting etc, is, I am choosing to look the other way right now. My eating disorder has now stepped in and I am going to try and get myself below my current weight. So basically, I'm in the same boat as you at the moment. Let's try and keep eachother healthy in the process. <3

[alexythmia]

Definitely. I'm okay with going a bit over 1000 as long as after exercise my intake is less than that (not too much less, I'm aiming for 800-1000 per day). I try to get in only nutritionally dense food, b/c if I'm going to restrict I may as well put healthy things in my body.

[girlfriend120]

I was at 950 cal. for the longest time, and then raised it to around 1100 give or take last month. I didn't gain any weight at all, so I am going to try and stay around 1000-1100, try to up my excercise, and not b/p as much as I possibly can. Take care and let me know how things go. <3

Where does your family live?

[alexythmia]

Have so much fun in Mexico!! But then again, how can you not?? What part are you visiting?

I grew up in NY and Florida (although I mainly consider FL my home), but a few years ago my mom and siblings moved to Minnesota, where I acquired a whole new step-family, so that's where I go for the holidays.

[spyral_path]

Ironically, it's the fear of messing up my metabolism and therefore not being able to lose weight or keep it off that keeps me from doing any hard core restricting. The temptation's there, but I keep telling myself that I don't want to walk into a trap I can't get out of.

I think that your therapist would understand that you're going to feel differently about things from week to week. I'm going to get preachy and arrogant and say that you should go, and talk to her about the same things you wrote about here. (This is coming from the same person who just dropped out of her support group,so even I think I'm being hypocritical, but it sounds like you like your therapist a lot more than I liked my group.)It's not dsupposed top be about putting on a happy face to please her, it's supposed to be about you, no matter how bad you feel.

[alexythmia]

Thanks. I know it's silly, but I can't seem to get past feeling that way. I might just cancel for this month only because she doesn't accept my insurance and it's so pricey, which I can't really afford with the holidays coming up. In the perfect world we wouldn't have to pay out the ass to get the help we need. =[

[spyral_path]

Right there with you. One of the reasons I'm not in therapy is because it would cost more than the rent on my apartment.