I realized today that the worst thing that could happen to me is that I'm teaching English and piano basics and I'm skirting alone at a coffee shop and a few old friends pass by and they say, " isn't that Daniel , he wasn't so ugly why did he never marry? And then someone else will say . He still loves that girl who moved on ages ago, I just don't ( Read more... )

I just don't understand anything anymore. I am beginning to feel less contact with the emotions of people . She just means so much to me and I can't even say hello ...what did I do? The bass player was on his phone . Wygle was great . Steve was an idiot as usual. Chris and ben got in another pride fight after the show, I don't understand them, why ( Read more... )

All these nights are blurring into one. Nic and his roomate, Fernando and the snakes. Coffee, all day. I have lost so much weight. I can't eat. Sleep . Think. Huval sleeps with the neighbor. Hope at least has hope that David will come back. I'm not making any sense . And I'm at work. Yoga?

Daniel

Today was Claire's birthday, all day working in Bamas yard. Half dead . And panic attacks on the regular. No form Of stasis. I need my best friend. Too bad . Claire is getting smart.

Daniel

So I realized today some vague concept of what I could do for a focus. Basically taking Eric Voeglin's suggestions on theroy of political science, and using joesph campbell marcel Foucault and the endless numbers of hermanutic ideologies which have been developed over the years and basically properly and scientifically classify fiction as a ( Read more... )

The best artists have the most patience, I think. Smoking a Chinese cigarette listening to cohens tower of song at coffee house in the center of a void of discontent. School will be nice . Going to this class and not taking tests is nice . I'm not a huge philosophy guy or a political science guy. But it at very least distracts me from my passion. I ( Read more... )

8am- parking cars at Chinese combo king. It used to be so much more fulfilling when Jessica would sit with me and do this. I don't blame her for leaving. What is the worst though is this fantastical notion I've created. I have dreamt up all these silly ideas. I think about us playing a brahms lullaby over vinyl to a crib, or finger painting on huge ( Read more... )

I was running the mile which ended up being 30laps for guys and 28 for girls. And some how a truck was circling calling me queer , but in strange ways like pirate refrences or nonsense words. I had a football so I threw it at their truck. And a really tall guy was driving. He hadn't said a word . I started to run away from him, but at some point ( Read more... )

No poems just sentences:

This is a bad idea
Bad ideas come from headaches
Just as mosquitoes must lay thousands of eggs
To ensure survival
So to must an idiot
Hatch thousands of bad ideas

My ears are so big
That I can't hear my dreams
Murmuring
"close your eyes you idiot"

In other words
Help !

Daniel