i have seen people staring at me in the sexual-absorption type of way, their eyes keen yet so tender, predatorial whilst pliable. i have seen people examining me like a specimen, trying to place me as either animal or vegetable or mineral, but this is not all that different from the delectable lechers: these "distanced" examiners still wish to ( Read more... )

the sun has come out and things are happening. i am not sure what i should and shouldn't write here; i will limit myself to saying that Big People's voices are becoming more urgent, the rhetoric back home is becoming more forceful and i am excited. i have been working increasingly with the portland group, and my pretty petey is distressed to see me ( Read more... )

My eyes feel like they'll drool like eggs or Dalian timepieces and make a mess of the page, I've done so much reading. And the library's a strange situation to be in: smalls noises are inordinately startling and each throat-clearing seems momentous and directed to me; i'm about to kill the person whose fingers are used to typewriters, or seemingly ( Read more... )

I met with the Contact today. Left him the tapes and the chip. He says I'm too distracted in my dictation; that I tend toward digression. I respectfully responded that while not all data might have an immediate use, we depend on useless details when putting the scattered pieces together afterward. He smiled at that, but told me he found it ( Read more... )

I tantalized at dinner. My shoes were meant for walking. Of course I see the look in his eye; precariously balanced, expectant, seeking. He fancies he sees something in me. I am unexplainable. Mysterious. Alluring. Ambiguous. I am the possibility of defibrilation. We sit across from each other at a small table -- did he just feel my heel tickling ( Read more... )

Give me a minute. Give me a moment to just talk to myself, a little bit, just a few mumbles. I am keeping him waiting but I'm strangely anxious myself. Even so, I'm sure he's suffering more than I am. But he enjoys it, the bastard. He's exactly where he wants to be, sitting by the phone, wringing his hands, wondering if I'll call to let him know I' ( Read more... )

He returned from Seattle today. I didn't see him until recently. At the moment I suppose he's in his room unpacking a few things, or maybe smoking weed and staring out his window. We have a date for later; a dinner-date. My darling it is you who is for dinner, apple of my eye. I shall fix you in a phrase and consume you in an educated glance. Like ( Read more... )

I am dreaming of my island; I am drooling all over the fucking pillow ( Read more... )

My words will begin with the hollow sound of high-heels. Once the metronome is set I'll clear my throat obnoxiously and call this court to order ( Read more... )