Full Circle Moment (2/3) continued again
Full Circle Moment (2/3) continued again
Kris knew he’d made a promise to himself at the start of the tour not to drink, but after the difficult few weeks he’d had, he was letting loose for one night. He needed it.
All the Idols crammed into one bedroom in their hotel after a show, the floor was a sea of empty beer bottles and everybody was a little worse for wear.
‘Truth or dare!’ Allison yelled, grabbing an empty wine bottle from the floor. ‘My go first!’
Kris laughed to himself, wondering what sort of revelations were going to come up judging by the amount of alcohol consumed. He cracked up as Allison forced Michael into performing a lap-dance for a very embarrassed Danny, and again when Anoop revealed his secret crush on Megan.
‘Talking of crushes,’ Matt grinned when the bottle landed on Adam. ‘Do you have a crush on anyone in the room?’
Kris felt nine pairs of eyes - even Scott’s - land on him as Adam was left to answer the question.
‘Well, duh?!’ Adam shrugged with a smirk. ‘Did you guys not read my interview with Rolling Stone?’
Kris looked around nervously, hoping none of the others pushed the issue. Things were gradually getting easier with Adam again and he didn’t want everything dragged up again.
His eyes met Adam and he gave a nod of acknowledgement, but he’d obviously had enough to drink not to be bothered by the others giggling over it.
Kris sat on the floor leaning against the bed, watching as Adam perched on the arm of the couch, laughing hysterically over the dare Megan was being made to do. He loved seeing Adam totally in his element, laughing, joking, drinking and having fun. He’d missed that side of him lately.
And he looked so gorgeous when he laughed. There was something about Adam’s smile when he was creasing up with laughter, something so infectious, something so... sexy.
‘Kris! Truth or dare?’
He snapped out of his daydream as the bottle landed at his feet. Looking up at Danny’s mischievous grin, he wondered what he had in store.
‘Um....’ Kris dreaded to think what they might make him reveal if he chose truth. He’d much rather streak down the corridor or be captured on camera doing something really goofy than that.
‘Dare.’
Danny raised an eyebrow. ‘I hoped you’d say that. Well, Kris, I want you to make out with someone in this room. Anyone. You pick.’
Kris’s mouth dropped open. ‘Um... anyone?’
‘Danny, man that’s cruel!’ Michael cut in. ‘The guy is married!’
‘What happens on tour, stays on tour,’ Lil grinned.
Adam glanced up and smirked at that comment.
Kris swallowed nervously and looked around at his friend’s expectant expressions.
‘Why don’t you make all his dreams come true and choose Adam?’ Danny taunted.
The girls began whooping and chanting Adam’s name as Danny watched smugly.
‘That’s not fair on Adam,’ Kris protested, feeling himself going redder and redder.
‘Oh, I’m sure he won’t mind!’ Allison exclaimed, grabbing Kris’s arm and pushing him across the room.
The others cleared the couch to leave Adam sitting there alone. The room fell silent as Kris stood up, hands shaking as he tried to decide what to do.
Kissing Adam after all that had happened would just be cruel, leading him on yet again after their promise...
But as he looked up, Adam’s eyes bore into him with that desire he’d had that night. Those lips were curled into a smile and lips looked so, so soft and kissable.
He didn’t need to hesitate any more. Kris climbed onto the couch next to Adam and wrapped his arms around Adam just like he’d been wanting to for the last few weeks.
Their lips met and Kris pressed his tongue into Adam’s mouth, trying not to moan too loudly with pleasure.
He felt Adam’s hand caress his back as they continued to kiss passionately. The hotel room and all the shocked-looking Idols all faded into a blur as Kris went off into his own little world.
Feeling more turned on by the second, he climbed onto Adam’s lap and wrapped his legs around Adam’s thighs, his growing erection burning into Adam’s crotch.
It felt just as amazing as the last time. Remembering how painful it had been before to end things before they’d even began, Kris just knew he couldn’t end things this time. He wanted this way too much.
And he knew Adam did too.
‘Uh, guys...?!’
Kris suddenly remembered where he was and pulled away, looking up sheepishly. ‘Um, is that enough?’ he asked Danny breathlessly, trying to catch his breath and crossing his legs to hide his erection.
‘More than enough,’ Danny grimaced, turning away in disgust and looking back at the shocked faces around the room.
The game continued, but Kris was still feeling hot and flustered. Excusing himself to go to bed, he gave Adam a secret glance as he made his way out of the room, hoping he’d follow.
He got to his room, undressed and climbed into bed to jerk himself off, still completely horny after the kiss.
With every minute that passed, Kris grew more and more frantic waiting for Adam to follow. Surely he knew Kris was ready to try again? Surely he felt it in the kiss? Surely he could read the look Kris gave him when leaving the room.
Half an hour passed, and still nothing. Kris felt his heart sinking as he sat in the dark room alone, far too awake to sleep.
‘I want this,’ he whispered to himself, trying not to cry. ‘I know I want this.’
A knock at the door bolted Kris upright. He jumped out of bed and rushed over, hoping and praying it would be him.
‘You came,’ he sighed as Adam walked in the room. ‘Look, I know I was a jerk before, I know I more or less kicked you out of my bed without even giving you time to have a freaking shower, I know I led you on when you’ve been hurt before, I know I...’
Adam sat on the edge of the bed next to him and pressed his mouth up to Kris’s lips to shut him up. ‘No need to apologise,’ he whispered before they began to kiss.
Kris gasped out, fingers wrapped in Adam’s hair and tugging frantically as they made out roughly. He moaned in ecstasy as Adam hitched himself up onto Kris’s lap and grabbed his shoulders firmly.
Adam paused for breath, eying Kris’s half-naked body lovingly. ‘Are you sure this time? This is what you want?’
‘Yes, yes it is,’ Kris breathed, leaning his head against Adam’s shoulder and gasping out for air. ‘It’s what I wanted all along, but I was, scared, confused... but not any more.’
Adam looked back into his eyes, any sadness Kris had seen in them before disappeared and replaced with their usual glow. He nuzzled Kris neck with a happy sigh and pulled the sheets back for them to crawl under together.
Kris grabbed the waistband of Adam’s trousers and tugged fiercely as they continued to kiss, soon both of them completely naked. He felt his breath get shallower and shallower as Adam wriggled under the covers and rested his head between Kris’s thighs, feeling Adam’s hot breath just inches from his hardened cock.
‘Keep going, keep going,’ Kris begged as Adam’s mouth got closer and closer.
He let out a satisfied moan as Adam took him into his mouth, his toes curling with pleasure.
Closing his eyes to savour every second, Kris hoped it would go on forever, and that this would be just the first of many nights spent together.
***
The last night of the tour was hard for everybody, but especially hard for Kris and Adam.
‘So, this is it..?’ Kris sighed as they lay in bed together in their hotel in Manchester, NH after an emotional last show.
Adam nodded sadly. ‘It’s the end of an era. I’ll miss everybody so much. I mean... I’m psyched for my record coming out and everything beyond that, but I’ll miss this.’
They lay silently, neither of them wanting to talk about what was coming next. After spending the past few weeks snatching secret moments together on the bus, backstage, in the hotels, sneaking into one another’s bunks for an elicit meeting, making up for it with mind-blowing nights together at the hotels, it had all come down to their final night together.
And they both knew it had to end there and then.
They’d talked it over so many times already, and both decided it was more fair all round to go back to their respective partners once the tour came to a close, unfair on both Katy and Drake if it continued on any longer.
Kris knew that was the right decision, already full of guilt for being unfaithful. But the thought of leaving Adam behind the next day had left a sick feeling in his throat all night.
Sure, they’d both be living in LA, they’d do a few appearances together, they’d still call and hang out... but carrying on the affair would make things far too messy.
‘Are you sleepy yet?’ Adam asked, gazing deeply into Kris’s eyes and stroking his hair. ‘It’s been a long day...’
‘Not yet,’ Kris replied, gazing back at Adam and counting the freckles on his lips as he always loved doing whenever they were lying in bed together. He’d never witnessed anyone or anything so beautiful as Adam.
And the thought of not seeing him any more made him want to burst into tears.
‘I wish the tour could go on just a little longer,’ Adam sighed. ‘Just a few more days, just to give us a bit more time...’
This time, Kris couldn’t hold the tears in. ‘I want this to go on forever!’ he exclaimed, tears flowing down his face.
Adam nodded, blinking away his own tears. ‘But it can’t. We’ve talked about this, Kris. We both know it won’t work in the real world.’
The real world. Their Idol bubble had finally burst and they were both going out into the world alone.
Kris knew he should be excited about his record coming out, doing solo shows, celebrating his one year anniversary with Katy... but right at that moment he just wanted to lie next to Adam and make the most of every second.
‘Don’t think about it,’ Adam urged, wiping Kris’s tears away. ‘I just want you to enjoy tonight. I just want you to be happy. I just want you to know I love you.’
Kris stared back at Adam as he heard those words. Adam loved him.
Trying to stop his tears, Kris leant in and Kissed Adam’s lips softly. ‘I love you too, Adam,’ he blurted out. ‘But I... I-I-I...’
Adam nodded sadly, knowing what Kris was trying and failing to convey. ‘I know, Kris. I know how you feel. And I’m not gonna lie to you, I do wish we were in some alternative universe where Drake and Katy didn’t exist and where two guys could walk down the street without having abuse yelled at them.’
Kris clung onto Adam’s body, eying the clock on the beside table and knowing that in a few hours it would all be over.
‘I want this more than anything,’ Adam went on. ‘Seriously, Kris. I’d trade in my success on Idol, my fans, the money I’m earning, if I could have you. Man, that sounds so corny, but it’s true!’
Kris nodded silently as he listened to Adam pour his heart out, feeling his heart sink with every minute that went by.
‘I don’t want to think about how hard it will be saying goodbye tomorrow,’ Adam sighed. ‘And how hard it will be seeing you around in LA and not being able to kiss you and hold you like this...’
‘I know,’ Kris agreed, brushing a strand of hair out of Adam’s eyes fondly.
‘Look, Kris...’ Adam began, his voice shaky. ‘I know we decide on this together and agreed so many times that this is the right thing... but I want you to know that if you do decide this is what you really want, if you.... if you wanted to give it a go, and, um... be together for real....’
Kris looked away, his eyes unable to meet Adam’s. ‘Um, I don’t know...’
‘Kris,’ Adam went on, grabbing his hand and looking at him with a pleading expression in his eyes. ‘I’ve been here before, remember? Unrequited love, broken heart... I don’t know if I can go through it again.’
Kris looked back at him for what seemed like the longest time, unable to speak. He wanted more than anything to say yes, that he’d leave Katy, move in with Adam, face the world together and give things a go... but he couldn’t.
He was scared.
Scared of hurting Katy. Scared of telling his family. Scared of the media circus it would create. Scared of the way people in Arkansas would treat him.
He looked back at Adam’s teary eyes and shook his head. ‘I just can’t, Adam,’ he mumbled, hating himself as he watched Adam’s face fall.
Adam nodded silently for a few seconds, before forcing a smile. ‘Well, let’s just try and enjoy tonight while it lasts.’
As they made love one last time, Kris blocked out the dread in his mind about going home the next day, saying goodbye to the Idols, saying goodbye to Adam, and tried to enjoy their time together.
But afterwards as they collapsed into each other’s arms to fall asleep, Kris couldn’t sleep. His eyes darted from the ticking clock by the bed, to Adam’s peaceful, sleeping face, wanting to cherish every last second while he could.
With tears streaming down his face, Kris wrapped his arms around Adam tightly, knowing he wasn’t going to get any sleep that night.
Part Three >>>