Delinquent [Interlude]
Delinquent [Interlude] by all_tattooed
Frank/Gerard [NC-17 - language, violence, crime, mentions of drugs & alcohol, sex ...etc.]
RPS. Don't know. Don't own. No harm intended.
~4223 words.
Summary: When Frank goes to Juvy, his counselor reforms him in a questionable manner.
Thanks to skelterellax for beta'ing. xo
Dedications: misfitswhore
Con-Crit welcome. Comments are nice.
Chapter 17
***
Interlude
It had been unexpected when Frank simply got up from his seat and left Gerard’s office without so much as a sideways glance. It wasn’t as if Gerard would have been terribly surprised if the teen was to lash out at him. Throwing it in his face that there was now, nothing he could do to change what happened between them. Gerard wouldn’t have been left with too much to say back to that because the boy would have been right and now he felt like a complete moron for being so fucking stupid as it get himself in probably the worst position imaginable.
Gerard could hear Frank’s footsteps fade away down the empty corridor and he had waited patiently until the faint sound of the swinging doors stopped before he screamed a senseless mess of curses at himself. He leaned down, letting his head fall onto his desk, papers that were piled-up in front of him instantly tossed across the room and the junk-filled trash can next to his chair cracking as it received a vicious kick before smashing into the wall.
He knew it wasn’t just Frank he was angry with, he was angry with himself and as he calmed back down and leaned back in his chair he quickly realized that he was probably being the biggest piece of shit in the world right now. There was no doubt that what Frank had did was wrong and he needed to be told off for it, it was a brainless move on his behalf and Gerard was sure the kid would have been expecting him to be pissed off about it, just probably not as much as he was. Frank needed someone to talk to, not someone to have a tirade at him and that was why Gerard soon felt knots tightening in his stomach; Frank probably have some sort of conviction in him and now Gerard had just gone and blown it right out of the water.
Despite the guilty feeling that was forcing Gerard to want to run out of the office, grab Frank’s wrists, pin him to a wall and tell him that he just wanted him to be okay as he kissed at his neck, he was not going to do that, because not only would he be contradicting himself, he would also be letting himself step further into the circle of what the laws regarded inappropriate. He told Frank he was a ‘child’ and to be honest, Gerard believed he was, but that didn’t mean it bothered him on a personal level. It bothered him by the fact that Frank was supposed to be taking steps forward, not back and the words had just come tumbling out of Gerard’s mouth because in his opinion it was a huge fucking step back.
He let out a deep breath as he groaned into the palms of his hands. He wanted to go home and just collapse on his bed, let his fists fly into his pillows until he was too sore to move and then just pass out. And thinking that made him feel like he had just brought himself down to Frank’s level with the amount of immaturity that was coursing through his veins, then he quickly realized that he had always been that immature; he just knew how to control it ...most of the time.
Due to the events that had taken place yesterday, Gerard’s entire schedule for that day had been rearranged. Mr. McKay took every boy who was not involved in the incident off Mr. Way’s schedule so all seven kids, Nick and his friends included, would be seeing him today. Pete was due into his office within the next half an hour and Gerard really questioned himself over the way he was going to treat the situation with them. He questioned, for about forty-five seconds until all he could think about again was Frank and how he wished with every fiber of his being that he could take back what they had done so things could just go back to the way they were the very first day and then maybe…maybe, Gerard wouldn’t have to like him as much as he fucking did.
Frank was wrecked. Gerard, was wrecked and as he glanced at his watch to see how much time he had left to openly hate himself, he couldn’t help but laugh at just how recklessly perfect they fit together. But still, it wasn’t going to be enough, it wasn’t allowed to be enough. Gerard was going to do his job and he was going to make sure it stayed that way because he wanted Frank to be better; he cared too much to ignore that he cared, but whatever it was that was going on between them was getting in the way; this morning was a prime example. Gerard wouldn’t have been surprised if he had managed to break more of Frank before even a chance to fix him.
***
At ten o’clock, Gerard had a knock at his door, assuming it was Pete he had just let out a feeble ‘come in’, but instead of it being whom he was expecting, it was Mark, coming to pick up Frank. Gerard had totally forgotten.
Mark looked at Gerard alone in the room rather confusedly. “Where is he?”
Gerard sighed. “Fuck. Sorry, Mark.” He started, hoping Frank wasn’t going to get in any kind of trouble. “We had a bit of a tough time sorting things out so I just told him to leave. It’s not his fault I completely forgot he was supposed to wait for you.”
Mark nodded, “Alright, hopefully he just went to class.”
Gerard nodded back and Mark then turned away just as Pete walked in the room. Pete smiled at his counselor; Gerard ignored it and went back to his seat as Pete took a seat of his own. He didn’t bother saying anything straight away, noticing Pete glancing around the room, his face scrunching up at all the papers and rubbish that were strewn all over the place.
“What happened in here?” He asked.
Gerard let his eyes flick over the seeming composed teen as he lent back in his chair. “Frank was just in here and he wasn’t listening to what I was telling him so I threw my bin at him and he tossed my paperwork around.” He answered, his voice lacking any kind of emotion.
Pete’s eyes widened and he just gawked at Gerard. “You threw the bin at him?”
Gerard shrugged. “Yeah, what of it?”
“Isn’t that like ...not allowed?”
Gerard looked at him strangely. “Isn’t burning someone’s hands not allowed?”
Pete scoffed. “Yeah, but ...you’re supposed to be his counselor like, counselors don’t throw bins at people.”
Gerard smirked. “You’re probably right, Pete. However, I don’t really care. He’ll keep his mouth shut because I told him to and so will you because, this is me, telling you to.”
Pete’s eyebrows stitched together. “Whatever; I don’t care. So, what are you going to do now? Tell me that what we did yesterday was…” He put of an angry face. “…bad, bad, very bad and then hope I won’t do it again?”
Gerard thought, ‘Actually no’, that was not what he had planned on saying, he still didn’t know what to say and then thought that he utterly sucked at being a counselor, he also thought Pete was the most obnoxious little shit he’s ever come across and was definitely not helping with his already pissed off frame of mind. “No, that is not what I was going to yell you. I was going to tell you that it was amazing and that I commend you for it…” He smiled and leaned forward, resting his arms on his desk. “…then I was going to shove some etiquette down your throat and stick my dick in your mouth so it fucking stayed there.” He sat back again.
Pete’s face fell in shock and Gerard could help but feel entirely smug and inwardly applauded himself. He let out a breath as he thought about how fucking good it felt to be a total and utter freak. He and Frank had had their moments, but really it was nothing compared to the ways in which he would usually speak to the boys. Although, it had actually started that way, but Gerard soon discovered that Frank wasn’t the type to just eat up his perverted outbursts and arrogant bullshit, so really it was a waste of time, -even before he had noticed the way Frank would smirk at his stupid jokes.
Pete turned away, staring at his own lap still in fright. “Wow.” He breathed, because that was really all he could manage.
Gerard rolled his eyes. “Don’t try to patronize me, Pete.” He spat, then put on what he thought was the most appropriate voice. “So what are you going to do now? I’m going to give Nick a blowtorch and a key to your room so he can fry your whole damn face.”
Pete didn’t say anything, he just kept his eyes on his lap. A part of Gerard hated that he was speaking the way he was, really he loved it, but at the same time he knew it wasn’t going accomplish anything, expect maybe Pete’s hatred for him. He still had to speak to the other boys yet and he needed to get this right, more so than that, tomorrow he needed to get things right with Frank. Opportunity was kicking Gerard right in the face, he didn’t like that he had to make some sort of a decision, some sort of choice that he otherwise wouldn’t have to if he hadn’t gone and done something so fucked-up. But, he knew that if he tried to change his approach now, it would be easier for him to speak to Frank tomorrow.
He sighed, hoping he didn’t appear defeated in anyway. “Look, Pete. I seriously don’t know what to even say to you and ...I don’t particularly want to spend my time trying to come up with something, so why don’t you just talk to me? Tell me what’s going on in that insane head of yours so I can try to help.”
Pete scoffed, jerking a little in his seat. “I’m not fucking falling for that.” He shot Gerard a look. “I’ll tell you one thing then you’ll just tell me to shut up or some shit equally as asshole of you.”
Gerard couldn’t help but to laugh a little. “Okay, well, what about ...fire? Tell me what the deal is with that. Why do you love it so much?”
Pete shrugged and shuffled a little in his seat. “I don’t know. It’s just a thing…that…I like. I don’t know why.” He paused, seemingly trying to come up with an actual explanation. “You know how, like ...sometimes you like something and you seriously don’t know why? I mean, like, sometimes you wanna eat something that’s really plain? It has no flavor, it’s pretty boring, but you really feel like eating it? Like, a plain rice cake or something. It’s like that ...I guess.”
Gerard looked blankly at him for a moment before saying, “Setting people on fire is like eating plain rice cakes?”
Pete groaned softly. “No, you’re missing the point. It’s like something you have to do. Fire is just something I have to do, just like even though they’re plain, eating that damn rice cake is something you have to do because that what’s you like.”
“Well I don’t eat rice cakes so I wouldn’t know. Do you have another example?”
“Fine.” Pete sighed and thought for a moment, giving Gerard the chance to acknowledge that Pete was quite odd. “Okay,” He finally said. “hopefully this is a better one, lesbians, right?” He raised his eyebrows. “Say you’re out somewhere and you see these two chicks making out and you know you shouldn’t look, like just give them their privacy, but you seriously just can’t fucking help it because you like it so much? It’s like that, I know I shouldn’t do it, but I can’t help it.” He began making weird actions with his hands. “’Cause I just fucking love it.”
Gerard let his head fall back against his chair. “Oh yeah, now I get it,” He said, dripping sarcasm. “I always watch lesbians.”
Pete smiled, oblivious to Gerard’s inward hint. “Yeah ...so, I know I shouldn’t do it, but I can’t help it because it’s so good.”
Gerard sat back up, eyebrows raised and looked at Pete. “But arson is not good.”
“Ugh! Mr. Way, you’re not listening!”
***
The remainder of Mr. Way and Pete’s session together, surprisingly, went a little better than any of the sessions they had previously. While Pete’s explanations made not much sense, Gerard could still the point he was trying to make. There was no horrific tragedy that had taken place in Pete’s life for him to so obsessed with something so dangerous and damaging, he just loved fire. Period. Which in a way, made it harder for Gerard to come up with anything to get him over his attraction for arson.
With no actual reasoning for feeling the urges to just burn things, Gerard boiled it down to simply being something Pete loved, something he couldn’t help and Gerard wasn’t about to say, ‘Well, stop loving it’, because things weren’t as easy as that. So, after much discussion over the topic, Gerard decided Pete needed a day trip, which the teen agreed to. Hopefully, whatever Gerard had in mind was going to work.
After a coffee and smoke break, Gerard arrived back in his office at eleven-thirty, just in time for his appointment with Bob. Gerard didn’t have too many concerns with Bob, he was rather easy to piss off and his drug addiction had ceased, really though it was only because it had to whilst he was in Juvy, but Gerard was pretty sure that Bob was a smart kid; he wouldn’t go back to the mess he had once been in. He seemed the type that lost interest in things rather easily, drugs being no exception. As if, once he had been away from something for a long enough amount of time he would just forget about it, which was good in Gerard’s case, he just needed to make sure the boy didn’t latch on to any other kind of addictions to make up for it.
“Morning Bob.” Gerard smiled.
Bob half-shrugged. “Hey.”
“How you feeling? You look a bit sore after yesterday.”
“I’m okay, just my cheek is a bit bruised.”
They were silent for a moment as Bob glance around the room, during which moment Gerard only just realized he still hadn’t tidied the mess up from his tantrum earlier.
“What happened in here?” Bob then asked casually.
Gerard got up from his chair and moved around to the front of his desk, proceeding to pick up all the paperwork from the floor. “Ah, nothing. I was just a bit pissed off before.”
Bob nodded and shifted in his seat, helping Mr. Way by picking a few bits of paper that were around his chair. He held them up for Gerard to take. “Here.”
“Thank you.” He smiled, taking the papers and moving back to his seat. “So …I know Mr. McKay told you that I’m going to be some huge asshole so that you and the guys would stop fucking up, but after a not so good session with Frank earlier I’ve decided that it is not going to work, so let’s just chat, get to know each other, yeah?”
Bob raised an eyebrow, squinting suspiciously at the man in front of him.
“I’m being serious, Bob.” Gerard added, noticing the boy’s hesitation.
“Why?” Bob questioned, his word drawn-out.
Gerard shrugged, tilting his head to the side a little. “I’ve already told you why. Come on, I’ve got a fucking headache, I don’t feel like screaming and I need to tell McKay we accomplished something today, even if it is just me learning what you’re favorite cartoon program used to be.”
Bob looked at him strangely again before shrugging. “Okay, umm…I loved Snagglepuss, the way he talked made me laugh like an idiot.”
Gerard laughed a little. “I wasn’t serious about the cartoon thing, but whatever.”
Bob rolled his eyes, his head falling back to look up at the ceiling. “Well I don’t know. I’m still trying to get over the fact that you’re not being a dickhead, I don’t know what to talk about.”
“Well, why don’t you start with High School, tell me about your friends and stuff. The sorts of things you did on the weekend or embarrassing stories from when you were drunk.”
Bob smiled half-heartedly. “Okay, umm..."
***
Their session went on lightly. Gerard learned that Bob’s High School and home life was entirely mediocre. He had a nice group of friends, plenty of places to go and things to do in his spare time, the only thing Gerard had a concern with was that although Bob and explained that his parents were very kind and giving, they were barely around to see him. Their careers appeared to come first and Gerard could tell that Bob didn’t want to sound selfish when he had said it, but he told him that sometimes his friends just couldn’t make up for his parents.
He loved them and wanted them to notice that his report cards were exceptional, instead of just noticing that he was watching T.V and that was all. They never asked questions, never bothered to take the time and chat, they just threw him some money, kissed his cheek and were off again. So at almost sixteen, Bob had just started to use the money they gave him for drugs and once enough people knew who he was, he began dealing…a part of Gerard considered that this was to try and understand why his parents were so caught up in their work, he created his own work because somehow he wanted to feel at their level and that was the beginning of his downward spiral.
Gerard was going to get Bob’s parents to visit him.
***
During lunch break, Gerard left the center and went to the diner that was only a few minutes down the road. He was happy with the direction in which his sessions went with Pete and Bob, for once he felt like he was actually being a counselor and to be honest, he kind of like it. It felt good to know that, even if results weren’t shown as of yet that he was -or was going to be- helping the kids in some way. He wasn’t a genius, but he hadn’t exactly walked down all the right streets during his life so far, therefore he knew how to help, even if it may not have been the ways he was taught ...or wasn’t taught ...seeing as he technically did not have a proper degree.
He sat outside at the diner, cigarette, coffee and a half-eaten sandwich as his company. For the most part he tried to avoid thinking about Frank, he had already decided that he was going to try and take things back to the beginning with him, even though he knew it was impossible, he was still going to attempt it. He didn’t know what the hell else to do.
The diner was quiet, peaceful, not too many people were there during the week so Gerard indulged on the silence, until he phone rang out in his pocket.
“Hello?” He answered.
“Gerard?”
“Yep?”
“It’s Bert.”
Gerard held the phone away from his ear for a moment and took a deep breath before speaking again. “Why are you calling me?”
“I wanted to speak to you. Can we meet up somewhere?”
“No. I’m at work.”
“Oh really? What’s the job?”
“It doesn’t matter. Bert, I don’t want you calling me.”
“Gee, please, I just wanna talk. I haven’t seen you in so long. I miss you. Please, can we just go out for coffee or something sometime?”
Gerard scoffed. “Well, I haven’t seen my brother in so long and I fucking miss him, but I guess that doesn’t concern you, right?”
“Gerard, you know I’m sorry. I don’t even need to say it, I know you know. Please? Just coffee, even if it’s only once.”
“I can’t make it until Friday. I’ll speak to you before then so we can decide on a place to meet.”
“Okay ...well, I don’t have a cell so I’ll call you during the week, is that okay?”
“Sure. Bye, Bert.”
“C-ya.”
Gerard hung up and felt like a piece of shit; he was going behind his brother’s back to meet up with Bert. He had promised himself he would do it, but Gerard had always given into Bert easily, old habits die hard. He wasn’t sure exactly what it would be that Bert would want to talk about, probably nothing in particular, he always talked rubbish. This wasn’t going to be easy for Gerard, that man had meant something to him and he was unsure if he still did.
***
It was one-thirty when Gerard was back in his office. He had been re-reading over the paperwork Mr. McKay had given him about what had happened yesterday when Jeph walked in. Gerard had always had a bit of a soft spot for Jeph, even though he had never shown it. The kid made him laugh with just how dramatic he could be, whenever Gerard had said something that was entirely inappropriate Jeph would act like it were the end of the world, it was entertaining, as much as Jeph probably refused to think so.
“Hey Jeph.” Gerard greeted as the boy took his seat.
“Hello.”
“How you doing?”
Jeph let out a deep sigh. “Crap. My body aches. I don’t like it.”
Gerard smirked a little. “Was it worth it?”
“Haven’t decided yet. I haven’t seen Nick or Dean around so I don’t know what their damage is, but when I do I’ll let you know.” Jeph smiled weakly.
“Oh good. Yeah, thanks,” Gerard said a little sarcastically.
“It’s no problem.”
Gerard looked over the papers again for a moment before looking back up at Jeph and leaning forward on his desk. “So …how come Frank was the one who held Nick down with Pete and not you or Bob?”
Jeph shrugged. “Well, he wasn’t here when we decided to do it so, I told Pete to just get him to do the easiest thing.”
“Oh, that was nice of you then.”
“I thought so.”
They were silent, Gerard really couldn’t think of anything to say back to that. It was difficult to talk to Jeph, his answers were always so straight-forward and it left Gerard nothing to work with.
Jeph then broke the silence with a short cough. “Look, Mr. Way, I don’t know what the deal is with you and Frank, but compared to all the rest of us in here…he, he seems to like you. We haven’t really talked about anything, but…well, that’s how I can tell, he just doesn’t have a bad word to say about you and I know you know everyone else does. It’s ju-”
Gerard finally found the breath of air he needed to speak and just cut Jeph off. “-Jeph, I don’t have any kind of deal with anyone in here, I treat you all the same, Frank included. Obviously he has said something to you to make you think otherwise, care to tell me what it was?”
Jeph shuffled in his seat, leaning forward a little. “I’m not an idiot…” He started, his voice a little cold. “…I’ve know Frank forever, he doesn’t need say shit for me to see that there’s something going on…”
Gerard wanted to die.
“…whatever you said to him or he said to you this morning was apparently harsh because when I saw him at lunch he hardly breathed let alone spoke.” Jeph sat back in his seat and raised his eyebrows.
For some reason Gerard could tell that the teen wasn’t threatening him in anyway, he was just concerned for his friend. He didn’t like the way this conversation was headed at all and the sooner he changed to topic the sooner he would stop feeling like he was going to be sick. Problem was, Jeph having said that, Gerard could see that the boy was entirely not stupid and would not let Gerard just brush it off. He just needed to clear it up, hopefully without seeming too apprehensive.
“We had a disagreement, nothing out of the ordinary. Hopefully he’s just feeling bad for what he did, much like you should be.”
Jeph shrugged. “Whatever, I know how I feel, telling you about it isn’t going to change anything though. Frank and I have always done everything together, difference is, I know when enough’s enough, he doesn’t. Yeah, I feel bad, but still, to me, Nick deserved what he got, Frank on the other hand, he would do it again because that’s just how he deals with shit. I don’t need a talking to, I don’t need fixing, but Frank does and after today something tells me that you’re the only one who can do that.”
Chapter 18
Frank/Gerard [NC-17 - language, violence, crime, mentions of drugs & alcohol, sex ...etc.]
RPS. Don't know. Don't own. No harm intended.
~4223 words.
Summary: When Frank goes to Juvy, his counselor reforms him in a questionable manner.
Thanks to skelterellax for beta'ing. xo
Dedications: misfitswhore
Con-Crit welcome. Comments are nice.
Chapter 17
***
Interlude
It had been unexpected when Frank simply got up from his seat and left Gerard’s office without so much as a sideways glance. It wasn’t as if Gerard would have been terribly surprised if the teen was to lash out at him. Throwing it in his face that there was now, nothing he could do to change what happened between them. Gerard wouldn’t have been left with too much to say back to that because the boy would have been right and now he felt like a complete moron for being so fucking stupid as it get himself in probably the worst position imaginable.
Gerard could hear Frank’s footsteps fade away down the empty corridor and he had waited patiently until the faint sound of the swinging doors stopped before he screamed a senseless mess of curses at himself. He leaned down, letting his head fall onto his desk, papers that were piled-up in front of him instantly tossed across the room and the junk-filled trash can next to his chair cracking as it received a vicious kick before smashing into the wall.
He knew it wasn’t just Frank he was angry with, he was angry with himself and as he calmed back down and leaned back in his chair he quickly realized that he was probably being the biggest piece of shit in the world right now. There was no doubt that what Frank had did was wrong and he needed to be told off for it, it was a brainless move on his behalf and Gerard was sure the kid would have been expecting him to be pissed off about it, just probably not as much as he was. Frank needed someone to talk to, not someone to have a tirade at him and that was why Gerard soon felt knots tightening in his stomach; Frank probably have some sort of conviction in him and now Gerard had just gone and blown it right out of the water.
Despite the guilty feeling that was forcing Gerard to want to run out of the office, grab Frank’s wrists, pin him to a wall and tell him that he just wanted him to be okay as he kissed at his neck, he was not going to do that, because not only would he be contradicting himself, he would also be letting himself step further into the circle of what the laws regarded inappropriate. He told Frank he was a ‘child’ and to be honest, Gerard believed he was, but that didn’t mean it bothered him on a personal level. It bothered him by the fact that Frank was supposed to be taking steps forward, not back and the words had just come tumbling out of Gerard’s mouth because in his opinion it was a huge fucking step back.
He let out a deep breath as he groaned into the palms of his hands. He wanted to go home and just collapse on his bed, let his fists fly into his pillows until he was too sore to move and then just pass out. And thinking that made him feel like he had just brought himself down to Frank’s level with the amount of immaturity that was coursing through his veins, then he quickly realized that he had always been that immature; he just knew how to control it ...most of the time.
Due to the events that had taken place yesterday, Gerard’s entire schedule for that day had been rearranged. Mr. McKay took every boy who was not involved in the incident off Mr. Way’s schedule so all seven kids, Nick and his friends included, would be seeing him today. Pete was due into his office within the next half an hour and Gerard really questioned himself over the way he was going to treat the situation with them. He questioned, for about forty-five seconds until all he could think about again was Frank and how he wished with every fiber of his being that he could take back what they had done so things could just go back to the way they were the very first day and then maybe…maybe, Gerard wouldn’t have to like him as much as he fucking did.
Frank was wrecked. Gerard, was wrecked and as he glanced at his watch to see how much time he had left to openly hate himself, he couldn’t help but laugh at just how recklessly perfect they fit together. But still, it wasn’t going to be enough, it wasn’t allowed to be enough. Gerard was going to do his job and he was going to make sure it stayed that way because he wanted Frank to be better; he cared too much to ignore that he cared, but whatever it was that was going on between them was getting in the way; this morning was a prime example. Gerard wouldn’t have been surprised if he had managed to break more of Frank before even a chance to fix him.
***
At ten o’clock, Gerard had a knock at his door, assuming it was Pete he had just let out a feeble ‘come in’, but instead of it being whom he was expecting, it was Mark, coming to pick up Frank. Gerard had totally forgotten.
Mark looked at Gerard alone in the room rather confusedly. “Where is he?”
Gerard sighed. “Fuck. Sorry, Mark.” He started, hoping Frank wasn’t going to get in any kind of trouble. “We had a bit of a tough time sorting things out so I just told him to leave. It’s not his fault I completely forgot he was supposed to wait for you.”
Mark nodded, “Alright, hopefully he just went to class.”
Gerard nodded back and Mark then turned away just as Pete walked in the room. Pete smiled at his counselor; Gerard ignored it and went back to his seat as Pete took a seat of his own. He didn’t bother saying anything straight away, noticing Pete glancing around the room, his face scrunching up at all the papers and rubbish that were strewn all over the place.
“What happened in here?” He asked.
Gerard let his eyes flick over the seeming composed teen as he lent back in his chair. “Frank was just in here and he wasn’t listening to what I was telling him so I threw my bin at him and he tossed my paperwork around.” He answered, his voice lacking any kind of emotion.
Pete’s eyes widened and he just gawked at Gerard. “You threw the bin at him?”
Gerard shrugged. “Yeah, what of it?”
“Isn’t that like ...not allowed?”
Gerard looked at him strangely. “Isn’t burning someone’s hands not allowed?”
Pete scoffed. “Yeah, but ...you’re supposed to be his counselor like, counselors don’t throw bins at people.”
Gerard smirked. “You’re probably right, Pete. However, I don’t really care. He’ll keep his mouth shut because I told him to and so will you because, this is me, telling you to.”
Pete’s eyebrows stitched together. “Whatever; I don’t care. So, what are you going to do now? Tell me that what we did yesterday was…” He put of an angry face. “…bad, bad, very bad and then hope I won’t do it again?”
Gerard thought, ‘Actually no’, that was not what he had planned on saying, he still didn’t know what to say and then thought that he utterly sucked at being a counselor, he also thought Pete was the most obnoxious little shit he’s ever come across and was definitely not helping with his already pissed off frame of mind. “No, that is not what I was going to yell you. I was going to tell you that it was amazing and that I commend you for it…” He smiled and leaned forward, resting his arms on his desk. “…then I was going to shove some etiquette down your throat and stick my dick in your mouth so it fucking stayed there.” He sat back again.
Pete’s face fell in shock and Gerard could help but feel entirely smug and inwardly applauded himself. He let out a breath as he thought about how fucking good it felt to be a total and utter freak. He and Frank had had their moments, but really it was nothing compared to the ways in which he would usually speak to the boys. Although, it had actually started that way, but Gerard soon discovered that Frank wasn’t the type to just eat up his perverted outbursts and arrogant bullshit, so really it was a waste of time, -even before he had noticed the way Frank would smirk at his stupid jokes.
Pete turned away, staring at his own lap still in fright. “Wow.” He breathed, because that was really all he could manage.
Gerard rolled his eyes. “Don’t try to patronize me, Pete.” He spat, then put on what he thought was the most appropriate voice. “So what are you going to do now? I’m going to give Nick a blowtorch and a key to your room so he can fry your whole damn face.”
Pete didn’t say anything, he just kept his eyes on his lap. A part of Gerard hated that he was speaking the way he was, really he loved it, but at the same time he knew it wasn’t going accomplish anything, expect maybe Pete’s hatred for him. He still had to speak to the other boys yet and he needed to get this right, more so than that, tomorrow he needed to get things right with Frank. Opportunity was kicking Gerard right in the face, he didn’t like that he had to make some sort of a decision, some sort of choice that he otherwise wouldn’t have to if he hadn’t gone and done something so fucked-up. But, he knew that if he tried to change his approach now, it would be easier for him to speak to Frank tomorrow.
He sighed, hoping he didn’t appear defeated in anyway. “Look, Pete. I seriously don’t know what to even say to you and ...I don’t particularly want to spend my time trying to come up with something, so why don’t you just talk to me? Tell me what’s going on in that insane head of yours so I can try to help.”
Pete scoffed, jerking a little in his seat. “I’m not fucking falling for that.” He shot Gerard a look. “I’ll tell you one thing then you’ll just tell me to shut up or some shit equally as asshole of you.”
Gerard couldn’t help but to laugh a little. “Okay, well, what about ...fire? Tell me what the deal is with that. Why do you love it so much?”
Pete shrugged and shuffled a little in his seat. “I don’t know. It’s just a thing…that…I like. I don’t know why.” He paused, seemingly trying to come up with an actual explanation. “You know how, like ...sometimes you like something and you seriously don’t know why? I mean, like, sometimes you wanna eat something that’s really plain? It has no flavor, it’s pretty boring, but you really feel like eating it? Like, a plain rice cake or something. It’s like that ...I guess.”
Gerard looked blankly at him for a moment before saying, “Setting people on fire is like eating plain rice cakes?”
Pete groaned softly. “No, you’re missing the point. It’s like something you have to do. Fire is just something I have to do, just like even though they’re plain, eating that damn rice cake is something you have to do because that what’s you like.”
“Well I don’t eat rice cakes so I wouldn’t know. Do you have another example?”
“Fine.” Pete sighed and thought for a moment, giving Gerard the chance to acknowledge that Pete was quite odd. “Okay,” He finally said. “hopefully this is a better one, lesbians, right?” He raised his eyebrows. “Say you’re out somewhere and you see these two chicks making out and you know you shouldn’t look, like just give them their privacy, but you seriously just can’t fucking help it because you like it so much? It’s like that, I know I shouldn’t do it, but I can’t help it.” He began making weird actions with his hands. “’Cause I just fucking love it.”
Gerard let his head fall back against his chair. “Oh yeah, now I get it,” He said, dripping sarcasm. “I always watch lesbians.”
Pete smiled, oblivious to Gerard’s inward hint. “Yeah ...so, I know I shouldn’t do it, but I can’t help it because it’s so good.”
Gerard sat back up, eyebrows raised and looked at Pete. “But arson is not good.”
“Ugh! Mr. Way, you’re not listening!”
***
The remainder of Mr. Way and Pete’s session together, surprisingly, went a little better than any of the sessions they had previously. While Pete’s explanations made not much sense, Gerard could still the point he was trying to make. There was no horrific tragedy that had taken place in Pete’s life for him to so obsessed with something so dangerous and damaging, he just loved fire. Period. Which in a way, made it harder for Gerard to come up with anything to get him over his attraction for arson.
With no actual reasoning for feeling the urges to just burn things, Gerard boiled it down to simply being something Pete loved, something he couldn’t help and Gerard wasn’t about to say, ‘Well, stop loving it’, because things weren’t as easy as that. So, after much discussion over the topic, Gerard decided Pete needed a day trip, which the teen agreed to. Hopefully, whatever Gerard had in mind was going to work.
After a coffee and smoke break, Gerard arrived back in his office at eleven-thirty, just in time for his appointment with Bob. Gerard didn’t have too many concerns with Bob, he was rather easy to piss off and his drug addiction had ceased, really though it was only because it had to whilst he was in Juvy, but Gerard was pretty sure that Bob was a smart kid; he wouldn’t go back to the mess he had once been in. He seemed the type that lost interest in things rather easily, drugs being no exception. As if, once he had been away from something for a long enough amount of time he would just forget about it, which was good in Gerard’s case, he just needed to make sure the boy didn’t latch on to any other kind of addictions to make up for it.
“Morning Bob.” Gerard smiled.
Bob half-shrugged. “Hey.”
“How you feeling? You look a bit sore after yesterday.”
“I’m okay, just my cheek is a bit bruised.”
They were silent for a moment as Bob glance around the room, during which moment Gerard only just realized he still hadn’t tidied the mess up from his tantrum earlier.
“What happened in here?” Bob then asked casually.
Gerard got up from his chair and moved around to the front of his desk, proceeding to pick up all the paperwork from the floor. “Ah, nothing. I was just a bit pissed off before.”
Bob nodded and shifted in his seat, helping Mr. Way by picking a few bits of paper that were around his chair. He held them up for Gerard to take. “Here.”
“Thank you.” He smiled, taking the papers and moving back to his seat. “So …I know Mr. McKay told you that I’m going to be some huge asshole so that you and the guys would stop fucking up, but after a not so good session with Frank earlier I’ve decided that it is not going to work, so let’s just chat, get to know each other, yeah?”
Bob raised an eyebrow, squinting suspiciously at the man in front of him.
“I’m being serious, Bob.” Gerard added, noticing the boy’s hesitation.
“Why?” Bob questioned, his word drawn-out.
Gerard shrugged, tilting his head to the side a little. “I’ve already told you why. Come on, I’ve got a fucking headache, I don’t feel like screaming and I need to tell McKay we accomplished something today, even if it is just me learning what you’re favorite cartoon program used to be.”
Bob looked at him strangely again before shrugging. “Okay, umm…I loved Snagglepuss, the way he talked made me laugh like an idiot.”
Gerard laughed a little. “I wasn’t serious about the cartoon thing, but whatever.”
Bob rolled his eyes, his head falling back to look up at the ceiling. “Well I don’t know. I’m still trying to get over the fact that you’re not being a dickhead, I don’t know what to talk about.”
“Well, why don’t you start with High School, tell me about your friends and stuff. The sorts of things you did on the weekend or embarrassing stories from when you were drunk.”
Bob smiled half-heartedly. “Okay, umm..."
***
Their session went on lightly. Gerard learned that Bob’s High School and home life was entirely mediocre. He had a nice group of friends, plenty of places to go and things to do in his spare time, the only thing Gerard had a concern with was that although Bob and explained that his parents were very kind and giving, they were barely around to see him. Their careers appeared to come first and Gerard could tell that Bob didn’t want to sound selfish when he had said it, but he told him that sometimes his friends just couldn’t make up for his parents.
He loved them and wanted them to notice that his report cards were exceptional, instead of just noticing that he was watching T.V and that was all. They never asked questions, never bothered to take the time and chat, they just threw him some money, kissed his cheek and were off again. So at almost sixteen, Bob had just started to use the money they gave him for drugs and once enough people knew who he was, he began dealing…a part of Gerard considered that this was to try and understand why his parents were so caught up in their work, he created his own work because somehow he wanted to feel at their level and that was the beginning of his downward spiral.
Gerard was going to get Bob’s parents to visit him.
***
During lunch break, Gerard left the center and went to the diner that was only a few minutes down the road. He was happy with the direction in which his sessions went with Pete and Bob, for once he felt like he was actually being a counselor and to be honest, he kind of like it. It felt good to know that, even if results weren’t shown as of yet that he was -or was going to be- helping the kids in some way. He wasn’t a genius, but he hadn’t exactly walked down all the right streets during his life so far, therefore he knew how to help, even if it may not have been the ways he was taught ...or wasn’t taught ...seeing as he technically did not have a proper degree.
He sat outside at the diner, cigarette, coffee and a half-eaten sandwich as his company. For the most part he tried to avoid thinking about Frank, he had already decided that he was going to try and take things back to the beginning with him, even though he knew it was impossible, he was still going to attempt it. He didn’t know what the hell else to do.
The diner was quiet, peaceful, not too many people were there during the week so Gerard indulged on the silence, until he phone rang out in his pocket.
“Hello?” He answered.
“Gerard?”
“Yep?”
“It’s Bert.”
Gerard held the phone away from his ear for a moment and took a deep breath before speaking again. “Why are you calling me?”
“I wanted to speak to you. Can we meet up somewhere?”
“No. I’m at work.”
“Oh really? What’s the job?”
“It doesn’t matter. Bert, I don’t want you calling me.”
“Gee, please, I just wanna talk. I haven’t seen you in so long. I miss you. Please, can we just go out for coffee or something sometime?”
Gerard scoffed. “Well, I haven’t seen my brother in so long and I fucking miss him, but I guess that doesn’t concern you, right?”
“Gerard, you know I’m sorry. I don’t even need to say it, I know you know. Please? Just coffee, even if it’s only once.”
“I can’t make it until Friday. I’ll speak to you before then so we can decide on a place to meet.”
“Okay ...well, I don’t have a cell so I’ll call you during the week, is that okay?”
“Sure. Bye, Bert.”
“C-ya.”
Gerard hung up and felt like a piece of shit; he was going behind his brother’s back to meet up with Bert. He had promised himself he would do it, but Gerard had always given into Bert easily, old habits die hard. He wasn’t sure exactly what it would be that Bert would want to talk about, probably nothing in particular, he always talked rubbish. This wasn’t going to be easy for Gerard, that man had meant something to him and he was unsure if he still did.
***
It was one-thirty when Gerard was back in his office. He had been re-reading over the paperwork Mr. McKay had given him about what had happened yesterday when Jeph walked in. Gerard had always had a bit of a soft spot for Jeph, even though he had never shown it. The kid made him laugh with just how dramatic he could be, whenever Gerard had said something that was entirely inappropriate Jeph would act like it were the end of the world, it was entertaining, as much as Jeph probably refused to think so.
“Hey Jeph.” Gerard greeted as the boy took his seat.
“Hello.”
“How you doing?”
Jeph let out a deep sigh. “Crap. My body aches. I don’t like it.”
Gerard smirked a little. “Was it worth it?”
“Haven’t decided yet. I haven’t seen Nick or Dean around so I don’t know what their damage is, but when I do I’ll let you know.” Jeph smiled weakly.
“Oh good. Yeah, thanks,” Gerard said a little sarcastically.
“It’s no problem.”
Gerard looked over the papers again for a moment before looking back up at Jeph and leaning forward on his desk. “So …how come Frank was the one who held Nick down with Pete and not you or Bob?”
Jeph shrugged. “Well, he wasn’t here when we decided to do it so, I told Pete to just get him to do the easiest thing.”
“Oh, that was nice of you then.”
“I thought so.”
They were silent, Gerard really couldn’t think of anything to say back to that. It was difficult to talk to Jeph, his answers were always so straight-forward and it left Gerard nothing to work with.
Jeph then broke the silence with a short cough. “Look, Mr. Way, I don’t know what the deal is with you and Frank, but compared to all the rest of us in here…he, he seems to like you. We haven’t really talked about anything, but…well, that’s how I can tell, he just doesn’t have a bad word to say about you and I know you know everyone else does. It’s ju-”
Gerard finally found the breath of air he needed to speak and just cut Jeph off. “-Jeph, I don’t have any kind of deal with anyone in here, I treat you all the same, Frank included. Obviously he has said something to you to make you think otherwise, care to tell me what it was?”
Jeph shuffled in his seat, leaning forward a little. “I’m not an idiot…” He started, his voice a little cold. “…I’ve know Frank forever, he doesn’t need say shit for me to see that there’s something going on…”
Gerard wanted to die.
“…whatever you said to him or he said to you this morning was apparently harsh because when I saw him at lunch he hardly breathed let alone spoke.” Jeph sat back in his seat and raised his eyebrows.
For some reason Gerard could tell that the teen wasn’t threatening him in anyway, he was just concerned for his friend. He didn’t like the way this conversation was headed at all and the sooner he changed to topic the sooner he would stop feeling like he was going to be sick. Problem was, Jeph having said that, Gerard could see that the boy was entirely not stupid and would not let Gerard just brush it off. He just needed to clear it up, hopefully without seeming too apprehensive.
“We had a disagreement, nothing out of the ordinary. Hopefully he’s just feeling bad for what he did, much like you should be.”
Jeph shrugged. “Whatever, I know how I feel, telling you about it isn’t going to change anything though. Frank and I have always done everything together, difference is, I know when enough’s enough, he doesn’t. Yeah, I feel bad, but still, to me, Nick deserved what he got, Frank on the other hand, he would do it again because that’s just how he deals with shit. I don’t need a talking to, I don’t need fixing, but Frank does and after today something tells me that you’re the only one who can do that.”
Chapter 18