i thought my apartment was a mess until i started trying to sort through my subconscious. i had one of the most confusing trips to inner space yesterday. i was rummaging through memories so scattered that i couldn't even be sure which ones were from my lifetime. i don't feel that i've ended in the same place i began, but i have a much better ( Read more... )

i've been working against my own happiness, and my body has decided to let me know that enough is enough. by attacking itself. i gave myself tonsillitis. as far as i'm concerned, there is no other explanation ( Read more... )

constantly confronted with endings and beginnings. when will i find a happy medium?

 i think maybe i'm always living as if i'm i some sort of perpetual limbo, a purgatorial preview session awaiting my life's feature presentation ( Read more... )

i cancelled a therapy appointment today. that's progress, right? i mean. at least i had a therapy appointment.

overdosing on elliott smith and fiona apple.
thinking of stabbing myself with this fork that i found in the road.

are things falling apart or into place?

i feel used because. now that i am not in a position to be as generous as i once was, i am faulted for it.

you show no respect or appreciation for me. don't contact me until you're ready to change that.

i need to make the decision. i need to type it. to write it with my whole arm. to say it aloud. i need to WANT to improve upon myself. i have to really try for this and do it for the right reason. i need to make myself better without making it about anyone else. what good am i because someone approves of me if i don't approve of myself? how ( Read more... )

"not only are we wired to want what we can't have, but we're wired to want what we really don't want.  we're women."

when one door closes, another opens.  i'm just talking about television.