It is amazing how any arbitrary length of time can seem like an instant in hindsight. People come and go, emotions appears and disappear, focus is quickly lost, and the eternal ebb and flow of hope take their toll. The thought alone can be maddening. I have never been much for emotion; I neither understand others' emotions, nor my own, but I ( Read more... )

Another beer, and a handful of lorazepam later, the night comes a bit more into focus. The short half-life is ideal for the working junkie; the salt mine joe that is on the go. Don't be fooled by imitations, lest you end up at work with a haze shrouding your mind that God himself couldn't deal with -- blood sugar be damned ( Read more... )

...like a warm glove.

I have avoided this giant fucking midterm for a good two weeks, and now, in the final five hours before my eighteen hour work day, I continue to avoid it. Thank God I have eradicated my generalized anxiety by means of a crepuscular crustacean. You heard it here first, friends. Fuck some Latin is the language of Barcelona ( Read more... )

As my ever untuned clock radio alarm hurled waves of blood curdling static at me, I stared, wondering what the fuck it could want at seven in the morning -- this delirium did not last long. For some reason, I decided that I had changed my alarm into some variety of Rube-Goldberg device. Obviously it shouldn't simply go off without some display of ( Read more... )

I finally replaced the light bulbs in my room. There are three, and over time, that number had been reduced to one, which popped early last week. I cannot remember the last time I had all three bulbs working simultaneously, but it is fucking bright in here; it feels like a hospital ( Read more... )

I am taking a loan on my mental health. This is not too unlike the loan I took to retro date an enticing investment for 2002, right? I will give it my all now; repress to the max, compartmentalize as need be, and put my well defined 'life' on hold until I have properly vested and garnered a return on my time. Oh fuck! I forgot to define 'life' ( Read more... )

There is allegedly a vicious storm headed this way, although I see very little evidence of any such thing. I figure it will be at its worse when I am walking to or from work.

My weekend was eventful and fun-filled. I saw Stella in Hoboken on Friday, which was sort of neat (fuck I am turning into a regular livejournal schmuck), and I went to a ( Read more... )

In a vain attempt to reach null, I have embarked upon this journey. I should not complain; I haven't the right. The food is plentiful, and the air crisp. I fell asleep standing up today, and almost lost my footing as the train came to a screaming halt, but I was home at least, and free to do as I like within reason. Fuck reason. I know I will ( Read more... )

"STOP THAT MAN STOP THAT MAN STOP THAT MAN" -- This is what I came home to at 10pm on the corner of Warren and Court. I am not sure what 'that man' had, but I believe it was a purse, or some other such personal effect. The girl kept screaming, and her crooning had the desired results; no less than fifteen people were running after some schmuck ( Read more... )