i think im becoming an alcohalic. it is the ONLY thing that makes me happy lately. i dont want to drink with people tho, i just want to drink alone. i think im going to get someone to buy me a big bottle of vodka. it'll last me a while because im SUCH a light weight. i just drink enough to forget about my problems and get this feeling of happiness ( Read more... )

i didnt do shit today. well mommy and i went to yard sales today. we bought candles and i bought some CD's. than i hung out with aj a little. we went to mugz and i bought him lunch. than we came here, drove around for a little, i dropped him back at his house, came back here, chilled here, than went to his house and than joey and jessica came over ( Read more... )

last night i had the WORST night. first, i was at aj's and this drunk guy came over and spit on jessica! so she told him if he did that again shed punch him so he did she clocked him so fuckin hard in the head. and he spit on her again! so she punched him in the face and he punched her back and broke her nose! what a fuckin loser white peice of ( Read more... )

i just got off of work. we were pretty busy, i made about $100. today i made myself go to church. i really didnt want to go. oh last night, i hung out with AJ, joey, jason, his girl, tom and dylan. joey saw my cuts and said, haha your a cutter. wtf kinda thing is that to say? i know im an outcast with them, because i get so depressed sometimes. im ( Read more... )

i got so shitty last night. i drank patricks vodka. so we were talking but he was mad at me because i keep doing drugs, but he thinks this is one fuckin sided, i told him, if he wasnt going to stop drinking, i wasnt going to stop doing drugs. he got all pissy. than i told him i should be drunk all the time because im nicer and he told me i was a ( Read more... )

work was dead tonight. they let me go home early because none of us were making any money. tomorrow, julie wants to work by herself so i dont go in the morning, and kasy wants to work for me at night, so i have all tomorrow off. which is good i guess. last night i got really upset with patrick because he didnt come over and i called him and was ( Read more... )

patrick called me this morning and wanted to know if i wanted to go with him and his family on a boat ride. i dont really like his family. esp. his dad since he killed my dog. so i didnt go. but he complained the other night when i didnt want to hang out because he wouldnt see me the next day. so youd think he would try to make time to see me the ( Read more... )

yesterday for work was really busy, i got off around 9. AJ called me. he's been my best friend for like 7 years, we stopped talking kinda when rob came around because they dont like each other. well anyway, he called and i called him back when i was at work adn told him i had liquor and a half of a blunt left and that we should hang out. so he came ( Read more... )

"i woke up today, woke up right awake, in an empty bed, staring at an empty room. i have myself to blame, for the state im in today. and now dying doesnt seem so cruel. and i don tknow what to say and i dont know anyway, anymore. i hate myself for loosing you, im seeing it all so clear, i hate myself for loosing you. what do you do when you look in ( Read more... )

i just got back from seeing the skeleton key. that movie was SOOOO scary i almost had to leave the theater. patrick and i went. sometimes im embaressed to go out with him because hes such a dork. today at work was pretty slow until right around the time i had to go home. i saw Rob this morning. my mom and i were in the line at the bank, the drive ( Read more... )