So I am tenatively playing piano at church for Easter Sunday! And we are singing "You are beautiful my sweet sweet song" by Third Day....and "Give us Clean Hands"...I'm super excited!

Today I woke up feeling like I had slept...which is a rare feeling for me these days. But a great feeling. I actually woke up before my alarm went off and had time to get ready before school...it was nice. Then it was off to school where I didn't get much done because the teacher never got to me....so after waiting around for hours I finally got to ( Read more... )

This morning I woke up with puffy eyes and a lingering pain in my head and behind my eyes, no doubt a remnant from the night before...with a total lack of motivation to get myself out of bed and start the day I pushed snooze and laid down for a short nine minutes of sleep before it screached at me again, this time more annoying than the time before ( Read more... )

Tonight I littered my house with yellow post-its...I wrote reminders...thoughts...messages to myself and stuck them on doors, mirrors...computers...TV's...pianos...anywhere my eyes may drift during the course of the day...it looks a little ridiculous at the moment but it was the only thing I could think of that may work to keep me on track. I can't ( Read more... )

I find myself in unchartered territory...someplace new...undiscovered...sometimes scary...most of the time exciting...like I'm walking around in a dream...head in the clouds...stars in my eyes...butterflies in my stomach...not sure exactly where I'm going, but I seem to know that wherever it is it's good...my smile doesn't seem to fade as I travel ( Read more... )

Through all of this frustration...this constant mess of reactions...through all of my emotions...my struggle with being needy...being messy...unorganized...in a constant state of stress that I developed in my life...through all of the ups and downs and negativity...I hope you knew that this was never my intention...bringing you into this was never ( Read more... )

Would you walk with me for a while...I would enjoy your company down this road...I should warn you that it may get dark at times...you may lose your step and I know I'll lose mine. It's more than likely going to get quite steep, our legs will get tired, our muscles weak...but I'm going to climb it...alone or with you by my side...my hand is open ( Read more... )

too many hours since I last saw your smile...too many days since I last heard your voice...I anxiously wait for a moment in your presence...and time can't possibly move fast enough to please my longing heart...there are few things of certainty, few instances that are real...through this mess, this confusion...this aching...this turmoil...there are ( Read more... )

I seem to continuously screw things up...the minute I start to feel comfortable in this, I mess up and I'm back to square one, feeling nervous and uncomfortable, I'm not sure that I'm cut out for this. I'm not sure I'm ready for the responsibility you are putting on me...do you understand that I'm new to this? Do you realize that I'm not ready for ( Read more... )

lost and troubled...confused and weak...helpless to what surrounds me...this twisting in my stomach...this aching in my head...my heart...unsure of why this is happening...afraid of what may follow...desperately hoping for her light to fade ( Read more... )