"And then she began to wonder, 'Do I seek out drama in a perfect world? Do I try to make myself paranoid, ignore the obvious, imagine the worst?' and sighed. It was going to be a long year ( Read more... )

I am depressed. I am a disgrace to the human race. I can't do the sudoku in OK! Magazine. Come on! It's 25 cents! Does that mean I'm worth less than that? I thought 37 cents was pushing it ( Read more... )

So I had a crazy dream last night. Must mention it ( Read more... )

So today I'm in the car...RACING A PROGRESSIVE VAN...ok, recap: I raced a Progressive AUTO INSURANCE van all the way to the gym. And you bet it was racing; he gave me competitive looks and evil smiles the whole time. Isn't that like, the opposite of his job description ( Read more... )

My life is kind of predictable. I wake up, go to work, come home, and spend the rest of the day trying to get my dog to show me some love and affection. I'm serious. I chase him. I force him to let me embrace his shiny black self for a few seconds. I pin him down until he succumbs to a belly rub. I throw him a squeezy toy until we both get pooped ( Read more... )

I should just stop watching E right now. Just stop ( Read more... )

When I was just a wee girl, I would watch endless hours of infomercials and be intrigued by the statement "Operators are standing by!" I had this image of pacing people, smaller-than-normal people in matching suits, biting their nails and sharply asking "WHAT is taking them so long!" after a quiet period. I always felt so bad for them- that ( Read more... )

I have a sad confession to make. My name is Allison Markowitz, and I am a spendaholic. I don't "shop"- I see. I buy. I love. I have no regrets. I HAVE NO MONEY ( Read more... )

Ode to my Butt ( Read more... )

Okay so if I wrote an entry for all my dreams, I'd bore you to tears. But this one a couple nights ago was just ASKING to be documented ( Read more... )