Let's try this again. And not make it about her, but about you. You.  You don't make things about you. What you need, what you want, what you are. Let's figure this out. You're 41 and seem to be missing something despite being married, owning a home,  having kids and having a job.  What piece of you is missing and why?

You're waiting for a text ( Read more... )

I came home tonight to a mess. A mess I would have told you about and you'd be the only one that would have sympathy for me, at least that's how it would feel.  And that was okay, because sometimes all I ever need is knowing there someone on my side, watching out for me as I take care of everyone else in my life.  Instead, I took care of Amber (she ( Read more... )

I should be reading it. the book next to the side of my bed. but i can't get myself to pick it up.   I need to know what to do and what is happening when it "happens."  i know this. and even after last night, i can't do it. Instead I want to sit here, sit here and write about how incredibly scared i feel. and out of control. and stressed. and sad ( Read more... )

I feel like its been awhile since i've written anything in this journal. Possibly since the FBI ( Read more... )

I'm 33. I started this journal when I was 25, possibly even 24. I find it amusing to read through my old journal entries. They are all about girls. The girls that haunted me. Some for days, some for years. Now that I am married and have found the "one," I can truly say it has been a journey to get here. Now, I'm learning that its a journey to ( Read more... )

saw 30 seconds to mars this past weekend - Jordan catalano is their lead singer :) Made me think of my so called life, and the amazing quotes it had ( Read more... )

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

- Mark Twain

to write how i feel, but i have  hit a wall. the only words i can express are that i love and miss you...and i'm jealous other people get to dance with you and touch you and i can't....

Can't you see that I'm sick of this ( Read more... )

Sometimes the things I say
In moments of disarray
Succumbing to the games we play
To make sure that it's real

When it's just me and you
Who knows what we could do
If we can just make it through
The toughest part of the day

Staind - Everything Changes Excerpts.

"Set The Fire To The Third Bar"
(feat. Martha Wainwright)

I find the map and draw a straight ( Read more... )