(Untitled)

[allyn]

a year and half ago i finally made contact with my childrenbut after several months, one daughter, and then then the other dropped communication. i don't know why, but i suspect it has to do with their relationship with their mother

Comments

[bmused]

It sounds like you're feeling sad, and maybe frustrated, because you have a need for connection with your children. Is that right?

Having been on the daughter side of a similar equation for most of my life, I can venture an educated guess that your daughters feel differently about having contact with you now because they were old enough to form some sort of abandonment story when you disappeared from their lives. Your disappearance may have been completely engineered and maintained by their mother -- but that fact won't make a difference unless they're able to consciously examine their feelings and question the truth of something they decided when they were quite young.

The upside is that it's entirely possible their feelings will change, when they're ready. As we get older, family seems to become more important -- and at the same time, we become better able to see our parents as humans who have done the best they can under the circumstances. Perhaps your daughters will get to that place with you. too.

[intenselee]

This...yes.