5 things meme: dom/elijah, trio, dom/billy, casey/zeke, eternal sunshine
"Five Things" ficlettes, in response to prompts.
Fandoms: Lotrips, The Faculty, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Ratings/Warnings: R. Angst, innuendo, naughty words.
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Five adorkable birthday presents Dom gave to Elijah or Elijah gave to Dom. from telesilla...
1, from Elijah to Dom: Sea Monkeys.
2, from Dom to Elijah: An 11" custom Elijah Wood action figure to tower over all the Frodos.
3, from Elijah to Dom: A homemade cake of a zombie head and hand coming up from the grave using instructions he found online to make it look as disgusting as possible, with cookie-crumble dirt seething with Gummi Worms, and plenty of candy bugs all over the zombie.
4, from Dom to Elijah: A vintage refurbished Laser Tag set, and a day's rental of an outdoor obstacle course that's usually used for paintball.
5, from Elijah to Dom: Cleaned the bedroom, the entire bedroom, even the closet and under the bed, and changed the sheets and sprayed junk around to get rid of the cigarette smoke and left it in there with the windows open and the door shut for two whole days while Elijah slept on the sofa, and bought all new bedclothes, sheets, duvet, the whole shebang, because if they're going to finally do this, damn it, they're going to do it right.
***
Four things that Dom and Elijah split up over and one thing that got them to talk to each other again. from kissing_athelas...
A Story In Five Several Voicemails
"Did you send me tourism brochures for Hawai'i again? Look, Dom, once is funny, three times and you're starting to piss me off. Quit joking around and call me back."
*
"Who's joking? You never come down, I always have to come up. I can't get away for the next three weeks, I miss you. Did you even look at what I sent you? Christ. Ring me back. If it goes to ansaphone, it's cos we're shooting, I'll get right back to you on the break. Unlike some people, I don't let my mobile go to voicemail every time."
*
"You can't say I 'never' come to Hawai'i. I come to Hawai'i all the fucking time. Okay, you come to LA more, but that's because you're up here for publicity stuff anyway. Don't even try to say it's all for me, half the time Jimmy Kimmel sees you more than I do. And excuse me if I screen my calls sometimes, I forgot I was supposed to drop everything in case it was you instead of the fifty other people who call me all the time. Call me back, I'll pick up."
*
"'Call me back, I'll pick up', right, so much for that. Look-- I come up to LA and do publicity as often as I can cos it's a chance to see you, you twat. You think I'd fly up every other weekend after shooting all week just for promotion? Though seeing as how you can't even be bothered to take my calls, sometimes I dunno why I bother."
*
"I was in the bathroom, you asshole. You know what, you want to break up with me because I don't wait by the phone for you? Be my fucking guest."
*
"Oh, voicemail again, brilliant. Fine. Let's be done with it then. Saves me loads on airfare. And you won't have to come to Hawai'i or take my calls any more. Except you weren't doing that anyway. You might not even notice we've split up. Good planning!"
*
"Dom, it's me, call me back, okay?"
*
"Dom, for real, please call me back, I'm sorry. I need to talk to you."
*
"Listen... I looked at the brochures you sent. Um. I'm really sorry. I'm booking the first ticket down that I can get. I'll get in at five in the morning. Shit. What do you want me to say? I was having a bad day and I was being an idiot, I'm sorry, things just got way out of hand. You could've just told me these things are all about weddings on the beach. I thought you were just messing with me, I wouldn't have been such an asshole... Dom... fuck. Look. I just cancelled everything for the next two weeks to come down and I really pissed off my agent because I probably blew a part doing that, so I hope-- I don't know. I hope that's enough, if I do that and just keep saying I'm sorry. If you call me back and I don't pick up it's 'cause I'm freaking out. I can't believe we fucking broke up over voicemail. I love you."
*
"It's a good thing I broke down and listened to my messages. I nearly threw the ring into the ocean. Which sort of shows I'm being a bit of an arse myself. I'm sorry if you've lost the part, I wasn't trying to get you to drop everything, I just fucking missed you, and it's hard when it seems like you can't be bothered, you know? I'll see you tomorrow, I'll pick you up. I love you too."
***
Five reasons why Elijah thinks Dom with glasses is hot. from capra_maritimus
1. Dom in glasses is often Dom in sunglasses, which means Dom outdoors in the sun, golden tan and warm and rumpled with a light sheen of sweat and maybe he'll take his shirt off, which, yeah.
2. He looks a little like a sexy secret agent, especially when he wears dark glasses with a suit.
3. He's less likely to be recognized when he wears glasses, so he's more likely to sneak kisses in public.
4. The way he slides them down his nose and looks over the top with his playful grey bedroom eyes, and somehow that even makes his mouth look hotter, if that's possible, which is hard to believe.
5. Whenever Dom wears glasses, Elijah considers it a personal challenge to try to fog them up.
***
five reasons Elijah would lose his temper at Billy and/or Dominic. from kiltsandlollies...
1. Hannah is not "hot" for any of you motherfuckers, shut up.
2. Seriously, that's my sister!
3. It's not even possible for a brother and sister to be identical twins, you fuckin' assholes.
4. Wow, I've never heard that one before!
5. What do you mean, prove it, jackass? ...Oh. Oh. Um. Okay.
***
Five reasons Dominic would chuck Lost/Hawaii/etc to go back to England. from kiltsandlollies...
1. Battered fish sopping with vinegar, tart and crunchy outside, white and meaty inside, and fuck carb-counting, chips, God, chips drenched in HP sauce, and mushy peas, which he didn't even used to like much, but now they taste of home.
2. Grey skies and the thin metallic smell of rain on the tarmacadam, making greasy rainbows with the petrol on the street.
3. Sixth episode in a row where Charlie's only lines are "What was that?" and "Bloody hell!" Five in a row, he didn't mind, but six?
4. One more round of we-like-the-script-but-we-need-a-few-rewrites that turns into we-like-the-script-but-we're-going-to-have-to-pass yet again and Billy says bugger Hollywood, let's get the budget down a bit and finance the film at home, and we'll finally do our Rosencrantz and Guildenstern stage run to promote it, what do you say.
5. He says yes.
***
5 things Elijah never said during sex with Dom. from matildabj...
1. We should stop doing this, it's driving me crazy.
2. Don't kiss me like that unless you mean it.
3. Could you please stop doing that thing with your tongue? It's not that I don't like it, it's just, you know, when you leave I still have to live with myself and I can't stand to remember how you had me begging for it.
4. Stay the night.
5. I love you.
***
Five things Patrick lies to himself about. from anatsuno...
1. It's normal to notice Stan's jeans like, every day. Because. What if Patrick wanted jeans like those. It just makes sense to check out how they fit.
2. It's totally normal to think about Stan and Mary doing it, because Mary is hot. She has a great rack and Patrick imagining Stan doing her doggy-style is practically like imagining himself doing her which is completely normal and okay.
3. He stole Clementine's panties because he was attracted to her and he's an edgy, daring guy like that, and absolutely not because his only guide for how guys act toward girls they like comes from shitty college comedies on cable.
4. And he was attracted to Clementine because she's beautiful and artistic and hot, not just because she's beautiful and artistic and hot and seemed like the kind of girl who would probably be into having a threesome with another girl or a guy. Adventurous, she seemed adventurous, every guy wants a hot adventurous girlfriend, right? He really liked her outfits, too, she had such great taste in clothes.
5. Fooling around with other guys isn't gay unless you fuck, or know his name. You have to do both before it's gay. Anything else is just experimenting, like a normal adventurous new century kind of guy who's looking for a beautiful, artistic, hot, adventurous girlfriend.
***
Five pick up lines Casey was secretly wants to use on Zeke. from telesilla...
1. I was wondering if you'd like to work on some chemistry with me.
2. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to-- oh, right, it's a gun.
3. Why don't you come behind the bleachers with me? And I can show you where I killed the alien, too.
4. If you show me your bedroom, I'll show you what I'd like to do to you in it.
5. If I said I wanted to suck your cock, would you hold it against me?
***
Fandoms: Lotrips, The Faculty, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Ratings/Warnings: R. Angst, innuendo, naughty words.
*
Five adorkable birthday presents Dom gave to Elijah or Elijah gave to Dom. from telesilla...
1, from Elijah to Dom: Sea Monkeys.
2, from Dom to Elijah: An 11" custom Elijah Wood action figure to tower over all the Frodos.
3, from Elijah to Dom: A homemade cake of a zombie head and hand coming up from the grave using instructions he found online to make it look as disgusting as possible, with cookie-crumble dirt seething with Gummi Worms, and plenty of candy bugs all over the zombie.
4, from Dom to Elijah: A vintage refurbished Laser Tag set, and a day's rental of an outdoor obstacle course that's usually used for paintball.
5, from Elijah to Dom: Cleaned the bedroom, the entire bedroom, even the closet and under the bed, and changed the sheets and sprayed junk around to get rid of the cigarette smoke and left it in there with the windows open and the door shut for two whole days while Elijah slept on the sofa, and bought all new bedclothes, sheets, duvet, the whole shebang, because if they're going to finally do this, damn it, they're going to do it right.
***
Four things that Dom and Elijah split up over and one thing that got them to talk to each other again. from kissing_athelas...
A Story In Five Several Voicemails
"Did you send me tourism brochures for Hawai'i again? Look, Dom, once is funny, three times and you're starting to piss me off. Quit joking around and call me back."
*
"Who's joking? You never come down, I always have to come up. I can't get away for the next three weeks, I miss you. Did you even look at what I sent you? Christ. Ring me back. If it goes to ansaphone, it's cos we're shooting, I'll get right back to you on the break. Unlike some people, I don't let my mobile go to voicemail every time."
*
"You can't say I 'never' come to Hawai'i. I come to Hawai'i all the fucking time. Okay, you come to LA more, but that's because you're up here for publicity stuff anyway. Don't even try to say it's all for me, half the time Jimmy Kimmel sees you more than I do. And excuse me if I screen my calls sometimes, I forgot I was supposed to drop everything in case it was you instead of the fifty other people who call me all the time. Call me back, I'll pick up."
*
"'Call me back, I'll pick up', right, so much for that. Look-- I come up to LA and do publicity as often as I can cos it's a chance to see you, you twat. You think I'd fly up every other weekend after shooting all week just for promotion? Though seeing as how you can't even be bothered to take my calls, sometimes I dunno why I bother."
*
"I was in the bathroom, you asshole. You know what, you want to break up with me because I don't wait by the phone for you? Be my fucking guest."
*
"Oh, voicemail again, brilliant. Fine. Let's be done with it then. Saves me loads on airfare. And you won't have to come to Hawai'i or take my calls any more. Except you weren't doing that anyway. You might not even notice we've split up. Good planning!"
*
"Dom, it's me, call me back, okay?"
*
"Dom, for real, please call me back, I'm sorry. I need to talk to you."
*
"Listen... I looked at the brochures you sent. Um. I'm really sorry. I'm booking the first ticket down that I can get. I'll get in at five in the morning. Shit. What do you want me to say? I was having a bad day and I was being an idiot, I'm sorry, things just got way out of hand. You could've just told me these things are all about weddings on the beach. I thought you were just messing with me, I wouldn't have been such an asshole... Dom... fuck. Look. I just cancelled everything for the next two weeks to come down and I really pissed off my agent because I probably blew a part doing that, so I hope-- I don't know. I hope that's enough, if I do that and just keep saying I'm sorry. If you call me back and I don't pick up it's 'cause I'm freaking out. I can't believe we fucking broke up over voicemail. I love you."
*
"It's a good thing I broke down and listened to my messages. I nearly threw the ring into the ocean. Which sort of shows I'm being a bit of an arse myself. I'm sorry if you've lost the part, I wasn't trying to get you to drop everything, I just fucking missed you, and it's hard when it seems like you can't be bothered, you know? I'll see you tomorrow, I'll pick you up. I love you too."
***
Five reasons why Elijah thinks Dom with glasses is hot. from capra_maritimus
1. Dom in glasses is often Dom in sunglasses, which means Dom outdoors in the sun, golden tan and warm and rumpled with a light sheen of sweat and maybe he'll take his shirt off, which, yeah.
2. He looks a little like a sexy secret agent, especially when he wears dark glasses with a suit.
3. He's less likely to be recognized when he wears glasses, so he's more likely to sneak kisses in public.
4. The way he slides them down his nose and looks over the top with his playful grey bedroom eyes, and somehow that even makes his mouth look hotter, if that's possible, which is hard to believe.
5. Whenever Dom wears glasses, Elijah considers it a personal challenge to try to fog them up.
***
five reasons Elijah would lose his temper at Billy and/or Dominic. from kiltsandlollies...
1. Hannah is not "hot" for any of you motherfuckers, shut up.
2. Seriously, that's my sister!
3. It's not even possible for a brother and sister to be identical twins, you fuckin' assholes.
4. Wow, I've never heard that one before!
5. What do you mean, prove it, jackass? ...Oh. Oh. Um. Okay.
***
Five reasons Dominic would chuck Lost/Hawaii/etc to go back to England. from kiltsandlollies...
1. Battered fish sopping with vinegar, tart and crunchy outside, white and meaty inside, and fuck carb-counting, chips, God, chips drenched in HP sauce, and mushy peas, which he didn't even used to like much, but now they taste of home.
2. Grey skies and the thin metallic smell of rain on the tarmacadam, making greasy rainbows with the petrol on the street.
3. Sixth episode in a row where Charlie's only lines are "What was that?" and "Bloody hell!" Five in a row, he didn't mind, but six?
4. One more round of we-like-the-script-but-we-need-a-few-rewrites that turns into we-like-the-script-but-we're-going-to-have-to-pass yet again and Billy says bugger Hollywood, let's get the budget down a bit and finance the film at home, and we'll finally do our Rosencrantz and Guildenstern stage run to promote it, what do you say.
5. He says yes.
***
5 things Elijah never said during sex with Dom. from matildabj...
1. We should stop doing this, it's driving me crazy.
2. Don't kiss me like that unless you mean it.
3. Could you please stop doing that thing with your tongue? It's not that I don't like it, it's just, you know, when you leave I still have to live with myself and I can't stand to remember how you had me begging for it.
4. Stay the night.
5. I love you.
***
Five things Patrick lies to himself about. from anatsuno...
1. It's normal to notice Stan's jeans like, every day. Because. What if Patrick wanted jeans like those. It just makes sense to check out how they fit.
2. It's totally normal to think about Stan and Mary doing it, because Mary is hot. She has a great rack and Patrick imagining Stan doing her doggy-style is practically like imagining himself doing her which is completely normal and okay.
3. He stole Clementine's panties because he was attracted to her and he's an edgy, daring guy like that, and absolutely not because his only guide for how guys act toward girls they like comes from shitty college comedies on cable.
4. And he was attracted to Clementine because she's beautiful and artistic and hot, not just because she's beautiful and artistic and hot and seemed like the kind of girl who would probably be into having a threesome with another girl or a guy. Adventurous, she seemed adventurous, every guy wants a hot adventurous girlfriend, right? He really liked her outfits, too, she had such great taste in clothes.
5. Fooling around with other guys isn't gay unless you fuck, or know his name. You have to do both before it's gay. Anything else is just experimenting, like a normal adventurous new century kind of guy who's looking for a beautiful, artistic, hot, adventurous girlfriend.
***
Five pick up lines Casey was secretly wants to use on Zeke. from telesilla...
1. I was wondering if you'd like to work on some chemistry with me.
2. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to-- oh, right, it's a gun.
3. Why don't you come behind the bleachers with me? And I can show you where I killed the alien, too.
4. If you show me your bedroom, I'll show you what I'd like to do to you in it.
5. If I said I wanted to suck your cock, would you hold it against me?
***