it is always okay <3alphaophiuchiOctober 17 2011, 14:44:46 UTC
The seed was festering in his mind, certainly, but at the same time, it would take a lot for him to even be able to shove Zero away. It was his best hope for safety right then - not just for safety, but also care and affection and maybe even love - and experiencing something he'd always wanted, but had never uttered aloud for fear of showing weakness. Draco had only his father for example, after all, and Lucius Malfoy's shows of affection were rare and far between, usually involving a nod of approval; however, Draco wasn't his father by any stretch of the imagination. He didn't want to be stuck-up and uptight, and afraid of simply loving someone else with all of his being sometime in the future, just as he knew his father loved his mother. Admittedly, he was afraid of that. He was very much afraid of that.
Perhaps a better way to put it was that he was afraid of giving himself to someone prematurely and finding that they didn't love him. After all, wasn't that just what he'd done to Pansy? With her on his mind, and a running
( ... )
Draco didn't really appreciate the laughter overly much, but it at least helped him calm down somewhat. His conversation with Snape still rang in the back of his mind as Zero entered unbidden - not that he would have denied him entry, considering he quite enjoyed the other's company - with the thought that Zero was going to get them both killed setting off warning bells for him.
But he wrapped one arm around Zero's waist all the same - almost more instinct than actual decision at this point - and kissed him back fully, even if he had no idea why Zero had so conveniently shown up and begun to kiss him without any warning whatsoever. The blond tried not to break the kiss when the backs of his knees hit the couch again and he began to make a slow fall, bringing Zero down with him. Even if he wasn't entirely feeling up to whatever it was Zero had in mind for the night to be greeting him like this, he couldn't just out and say that.
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Perhaps a better way to put it was that he was afraid of giving himself to someone prematurely and finding that they didn't love him. After all, wasn't that just what he'd done to Pansy? With her on his mind, and a running ( ... )
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But he wrapped one arm around Zero's waist all the same - almost more instinct than actual decision at this point - and kissed him back fully, even if he had no idea why Zero had so conveniently shown up and begun to kiss him without any warning whatsoever. The blond tried not to break the kiss when the backs of his knees hit the couch again and he began to make a slow fall, bringing Zero down with him. Even if he wasn't entirely feeling up to whatever it was Zero had in mind for the night to be greeting him like this, he couldn't just out and say that.
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