For the last time: ZeroLiner is not a free service. You need a ticket to ride, and that requires money. The next person I see hitching a free ride on my train is getting kicked off while the train is in motion and I will be praying to God that they fall onto something sharp or fall into a canyon or any number of other awful deaths that could ( Read more... )

[What a surprise, he sounds annoyed.]

Those lawn gnome things are asking for me to waste a card on them just to smash them into sand. Is there one on every street corner? Because it feels like it. Next one I see, I'm attacking it with my motorcycle. It has bull horns on it for a reason.

[He snorts before turning off the sound.]

Wasted my wish on something pointless, but it was so delicious that I can't complain.

I thought he'd be gone by now, but I guess it's not happening. Whatever. I can live with an illusion.

All this talk over a TV show. It's not even that good.

I REFUSE TO WEAR THIS THING!!

I'm staying inside. Forever.

Will everyone stop singing?!

That was a pain in the ass. I have my suspicions about this "truce," too. Whatever. As long as I don't have to fight a million alien monsters any time soon.

[Video comes on to reveal what looks to be a green, black, and yellow Power Ranger reject with bull heads on the eye shields and yellow train tracks running up and down the armor. He appears to be inside a black, plastic room riding on a blue-and-white motorcycle with yellow bullhorns on it. Once he starts speaking, it becomes apparent that it's ( Read more... )

Dammit, I'm going to have to use a card!

Deneb, where are you?! What the hell is going on?

[Ooooh, is he annoyed. He is super annoyed.]

I can't believe this... Henshin!

[Insert transformation sounds here, including his usual catchphrase, before the sound cuts off.]