i wish...

[aluneedislove]

"Yesterday, when I would touch you, you were so...hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same. I need to know why. Is it because I'm too late? Because I've hurt you too much? Because you have moved on, as I meant for you to? That would be...quite fair. I won't contest your decision. So don't try to spare my feelings, please-just tell me now

Comments

[peauty]

Wow. It is good to hear what has been going on in your life. Honestly, I wish these were things I heard directly from you but through livejournal works too. I understand, to a certain extent, what you are going through. At least, what I mean is that I understand feeling heartbroken, and especially right now. If you ever want to talk about anything I am here for you. I think the disillusionment that goes along with the feeling has been what is most difficult for me. I realize only now how naive I was. I was suspicious of it while with Andrew and before him, but only now can I truly see how sheltered I had been. This is one of many things I can honestly say I am grateful for coming out of this experience. I also am grateful to have loved and cared for someone so deeply at all. Whether or not it was meant to last, I grew and have grown tremendously. This I try to recognize and be appreciative of every day. I hope you can feel some joy in knowing you too have grown out of this. You are hurt and broken now but the new you will be that much

[aluneedislove]

thank you for that. i would have called but i have a tough time telling anyone and it took me a long time to write that. it is so hard to admit that i went against my own instincts, that i was that dumb and naive. and yes, i will be smarter next time and i think this proved to me that i really do have something to offer. and i hope, like you said, that i will come away from this a better person. i just hope i don't turn bitter and resentful