I feel strange these days and I'm not sure why. I'm not sure if it's the weather or the fact that a lot of friends and acquaintances have recently left or are leaving soon, or if it's the realization that my addiction to someone is just that and not love, but I feel a subtle but significant shift and, well, it makes me feel strange ( Read more... )

I think it might be possible to addicted to a person. That's my only explanation. I'm not sure if it's destructive or if it's just a form of expression and shouldn't be labeled or judged. It's definitely a pattern and fulfilling and at the same time disappointing, but I'm beginning to believe I shouldn't try to completely understand and analyze ( Read more... )

It's kind of sad that I abandoned this blog for so long. I'm reading up on my history in Korea and with a certain someone that started years ago, six to be exact. Minus two years when I was living in nyc. Why is it I end up sleeping with him still? Why, oh, why, oh, why ( Read more... )

So, I had a very strange weekend. It is now Tuesday, so I'm a little bit fuzzy about how I felt at the time, but I'll at least try to remember and explain it all ( Read more... )

Well, over the summer I was taking a video-blog class and started a new blog at wordpress. Please check it out. I will still be writing on here now and then when I need to vent but I'm trying to be a bit more balanced on my wordpress account. LiveJournal, I'm sorry, but I think I associate you with venting now ( Read more... )

Well, just some ruminations. I haven't had any major drama or devastating occurrences as of late. It's a big change from a few weeks ago when I first got back here. Perhaps I'm moving from anger and sadness into acceptance or at the very least acquiescence. Only last week I angrily gave up trying. "God or whatever, I give up! Are you fucking ( Read more... )

Do you really hate me this much? Why when I try, do you take everything away. Do you want me to leave everything here? Are you trying to make me bitter? Trying to test me? I can't handle anymore cruel news or decisions made by others and watch everything fall away. Are you trying to ruin me? Make me jump off my roof? Do you want me to quit ( Read more... )

I of course can't fully remember the dream I just had, but it was a strange and lovely one where I woke up and felt like myself more than usual and everything here was put in perspective ( Read more... )

Well, lately I have brought about some happy changes and been happy to receive some changes. All the changes are basically good ( Read more... )

Three years ago, my life fell apart for the second time. Apparently, I'm still paying for it. I hate, um, life.