i hate to say it but i think im in a depression. just little things like, not being happy when im not talking to someone, and the random sob fest that occures when im in the shower, or sitting watching tv ( Read more... )

i realized that im a person. and that i once had a life full of people. and i understand the pressure that i put on people. and im sorry. i can't change how i think, or what i do. i was a person once, and i had lots of friends. i guess i have this vision of what love is suppost to be like. all black and white, kissy full of dancing in the ( Read more... )

i can't say that im compleatly unhappy. b/c i do have moments of happiness. this most often occurs when im with matt. but im not extramly happy either. part of me thinks its a job kind of a thing. but what scares me about that is that when i do start working... what if im still not happy. then theres a problem ( Read more... )

my mom got me a new cell phone today. my other one wasn't holding a charge anymore. and i hardly got reception and never got my messages. however in order to get a new one we had to sign a new 2 year contract. not like why went going to anyway, but my father had a comiption fit and made everyone elses life hell. thats when i found out that he doesn ( Read more... )

i should carry a carmra around just b/c ( Read more... )

BORING ( Read more... )

Man is so muddled, so dependent on the things immediately before his eyes, that every day even the most submissive believer can be seen to risk the torments of the afterlife for the smallest pleasure ( Read more... )

matt gave me a gorious promise ring on our trip to disneyland. i look at it all the time b/c for a girl who never thought there would ever be anything on my left hand ring finger there is now somthing beautiful and glittery. i love it ( Read more... )

i will be out of town monday night and tuesday. disneyland... yey.. charles is being supper nice and i think (i have to finish talking to him about it) letting me use one of his working cars. im very thankful.my cars being a bitch and matts... well its matts car, and has a few problems there for is unreliable ( Read more... )

i got a plethera a things for my b day. it was by far the best one i have had in a long time. minamal fighting. matt by my side. yellow roses. and everything i asked for. and then some. plus a upgrade in my cell phone within the comming weeks. i got a lot of calls and was very flattered ( Read more... )