I weary of the carousel of emotions and thoughts- happy/sad/happy/sad round-and-round all coming back to the place they began nothing solved- nothing better- the annoying music reminding me of how fake and experience- I need to sever these chains and live and breathe apart from you- apparently the way I’m supposed to ( Read more... )

3-27-02 ( Read more... )

PRAY... someone please... you don't have to know why just please do it... and do it now... and do it fervently!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel"

found this quote on one of my friend's profiles... how true is that?!

don't know how to say how I feel.... I wish I had someone to do something with tonight... more specifically to just snuggle up with... (this sounds bad so brace yourself) I NEED TO BE TOUCHED... for those of you who know me really well you know what I mean by that... I'm a very physical person... not like how most ppl are seeing as I've never been ( Read more... )

God is so good to me... to find brief moments that are the calm in the midst of the storm... I know how Benny must feel now... burying himself in his work... but still the more I am away from him the more I think of him... so he must not think of me as I think of him... or something would be different... I hate myself for trying to move on... for ( Read more... )

life is super confusing... but i feel at peace... prolly just b/c i'm totally drained of all emotion... wish there was someone here that could just look at me and know... exactly what i feel... and hug me...

( Read more... )

can't sleep... argued with my dad again... i'm so heartbroken... i hate it... i hate me... i hate being a disappointment to everyone... to God... to myself... i want to die.... everything i felt i accomplished last night is gone... and i hate that... just when i thought i could breathe again... the wind gets knocked out of me.... and i miss Benny ( Read more... )

I feel absolutely drained.... I can't smile... there's this deep ache inside me... and it's not as much physical as it is something else... but I can't put my finger on what the something else is.. it's like that feeling that you get when you know something bad is going to happen... something that's going to hurt even more than the foretaste... I'm ( Read more... )