lying here, waiting to feel something more than the dull throbbing of aged thoughts against my heart. my heart ( Read more... )

so i should be sleeping right now. but no such luck. migraines are a bitch. no way around it..they suck. and 3 hrs. of sleep doesn't help the situation. whatever. started off the day by getting a new car. a good thing, but i am going to be worried about the payments now. wasn't really a want, but a must. at least i have a good way to get between ( Read more... )

i need a new way to bleed. does that make sense? there are so many things that i am keeping pushed back, yet they find an escape route at the least expected moment. if i could get them out, it wouldn't be a problem. but i don't allow myself to do so. the art of avoidance is one that takes practice and determination. if only i could put those ( Read more... )

random things from a place that shouldn't even tick anymore. i wonder why it does. i wonder what's the point. it's melodramatic night, or else a night when everything just happens to crumble at your feet and you just stand there and watch it. you decide.

break inside. you never wanted it to turn out like this. everything just faded into a memory. ( Read more... )

"it's not like i've gotten anywhere believing you this long."

doesn't matter that it was said in a drunken state. doesn't matter that it might not have been meant how i took it. but it stings none the less. is that what you really think?

i am always lost at how to start these. i know i have things to say, yet i can never get them to come out right. whether it be in my head or on this damn computer, it is all random, and randomly out of place. maybe i can make sense of it, but probably not. here we go. when you have something that is bothering you, why the hell is it so hard to tell ( Read more... )