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(Untitled)
I am an irrational creature. I am an irrational creature. I am an irrational creature ( Read more... ) -
Damned
My first thoughts when I heard that Alex had died ( Read more... ) -
The Holidays
This has been an odd Holiday, characterized with pretty good highs and all time lows. Even though Alex and I were never able to spend a Christmas together, the holiday's have been hard without him nonetheless. We always used to call and text constantly, even though we were always both tied up with family obligations, and finding him a Christmas ( Read more... ) -
Christmas Break Sucks
I got through an entire semester. How did this happen? How did 8 months go by and me survive without him? I even did well in school. I think I'm getting straight A's. I don't know whether this makes me happy or upsets me. I think a little bit of both ( Read more... ) -
To Feel
I haven't been good about keeping this blog updated. There have been too many things to keep track of lately. School is driving me crazy. I have two presentations, a paper and a project due this week alone. Usually when I have this much work to do, I buckle. I have a panic attack and pretty much become useless to myself and others but I've been ( Read more... ) -
Birthday
It is your birthday tomorrow so I feel that I should take this entry to address you. I also think this will be easier to write if I do ( Read more... ) -
Stupid and Selfish
From the moment I feel a piece of the passion that I once felt, I want to tell Alex. I think about those times when Alex wanted me to discuss with him and I refused because I was too tired or I didn't know how to argue. Now I want to bounce ideas off of him. Discuss all night. And I can't. I will never have the privilege of hearing his thoughts ( Read more... ) -
This To That
When I close my eyes and really think about my life and how it differs so much from a mere 6 months ago, I become terrified. The feelings I'm experiencing cannot be explained with mere words. Talking it out may seem helpful, but to me it just pushes out in the open the horror I feel at what has passed in my life. This, to me, is not part of a ( Read more... ) -
Anti-Whatever
Things haven't been getting better. How I feel has been exacerbated by school and the pressures of graduation looming near. So I'm venturing into the world of anti-depressants. We'll see how it goes.