so, heres a real, less irritated update. I'm extremely tired. I was up with Tim until 7 am or so on sunday morning. I think. Anyways, umm, I decided that I needed to sing that night. So I sang for a good 3 hours or so. The rest of the time I was obsessed with finding the lyrics to one of my favorite songs. The search was unsuccessful. The ( Read more... )

tim and are casually dating. i told him i dont want a boyfriend. i told him that im not ready for anything serious, and dont know if i ever will be
just gonna take it day by day i guess. im irritated by kayla. im irritated by life in fact. notice how i mostly write in here when im pissed?? i see a pattern.

so, i am sick. took some cough medicine but i have so much going on in my head right now i cant sleep. life is pretty damn sucky. im sick of being alone. and anyone that wants to keep my company i push away. im so confused all the damn time. i just wish for once that i could have a clear thought accompanied by a genuine "know it real" feeling ( Read more... )

thanks to dear old LJ and tims stupidity i found out he had a girlfriend the whole time we were together. as hard as he may try to justify his behavior, he cheated either way. so, im not even hurt that he did it. im just pissed that i felt bad for breaking up with him. do i need to do a background check on potential boyfriends??

oh life sucks. we have about 30 feet of snow (slight exaggeration) and i have to go shovel my little parking space cuz my car wont start and to top it all off, im outta cigarettes.

god, im so fucking sick and tired of feeling depressed. Life is so shitty sometimes. i feel like i have made so many postive moves in going forward in my life, but at the same time, i feel so stuck. Living in this hellhole of nothingness doesnt help at all. its so pathetic here. even if i did have a life, theres nothing to do here. its the ( Read more... )

i have a spot. i was sitting there and i thought my left eye was glitching. so i was watching the spot, but was unable to focus on it. then i realized that i could focus on it with both eyes. but it keeps moving. so then i shut my right eye and i could see it. then i shut my left eye and could still see it. but i can only focus if i use both ( Read more... )

so christmas was strange this year. mom left early with kay and i spent most the day with tim. i got some cool stuff, but i think this was the first year ever that i didnt really care about presents. It was fun watching kay open all her stuff. one really cool present from timmah though was my nose peircing. I felt like rebelling so i got it ( Read more... )

hmm, im tired and i cant sleep. not that thats unusual. so kens here holed up at the motel with his new bitch...yeah i called you a bitch! they are staying in 209. should i go beat their asses?? ooooh i so want to. goddammit. i need some antideppressants. :( oh help me god.

so the anonymous person that is amused by my journal hasnt commented on my last few entries. so im thinking that this person is some that i know, because they seem vaguely familiar with my situation. so if you read this and you dont know me, let me know. because its really bugging me