1/10/11 Found out I was pregnant ( Read more... )

I am getting real good at suffering in silence. Lost another baby 8/2, 9wks old. My body is still hurting. Emotionally I feel drained. I am married but I don't really feel married. Only thing that is different is that I am taking care of someone other then my mother. Depression is kicking in. Rather just sleep because at least there I feel happy. ( Read more... )

Was married 6-9-10 ( Read more... )

Unexpected- eager- wishful- amazed- I could go on. I can't wait to see what the following months bring me. I hope closer to closing the semicircle. I didn't want to say goodnight but I had to. I should be in bed but my head is going crazy.

I think I was played the fool. Not sure how I feel about it. Seriously hope I didn't fall for something.

O.K.
Just a little pinprick.
There'll be no more aaaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working, good.
That'll keep you going through the show
Come on it's time to go.

I know these pills I have to take are slowly killing my body. I ended up having to double my dose to get through the day. I've put off getting the procedure done long enough to tie up any lose ends. I see the doctors again on April 26th and I will have to tell them to go on and make an appointment.

4/26- I go to my double doctor appointment. The second one is when I am going to schedule for my procedure. Only thing about this is that I have far to many things about me that makes this a high risk. hmmm..... I could go on more BUT. My cousin Heath, the hippy, says I should only put good thoughts and words about this into the universe to ensure ( Read more... )

I am so good at pushing people away. I think there is only one constant person ever in my life. John/Spike... Even then he has not been that constant. (Even there I know that road couldn't possibly be taken now). A lot of the time months/years go by and I don't speak to him. I compare everyone I get romantic with to him. They can never live up to ( Read more... )

R.I.P. 11/24/09 Robby Porter