i feel a little less than perfect. i've just been so frustrated with myself. I heard some things tonight that have hurt me pretty badly. and i've also realized a few things, i'm depressed..no matter how many good times i have lately as soon as i get home and i'm alone..everything begins to hit me once again. how do i get out of this state of ( Read more... )

so. this has been a weird night ( Read more... )

yeah.
when i talk to you, it seems like nothings changed..
but when i look at things you say..
i notice.. i'm not as important as i used to be..
i can see that things have changed,
i'm almost ready to just give the fuck up..

SO FAR AWAY
I WISH YOU WERE HERE.
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE
THIS COULD ALL DISAPPEAR.

BEFORE THE DOORS CLOSE
AND IT COMES TO AN END.
WITH YOU BY MY SIDE
I WILL FIGHT AND DEFEND.
you're not alone ( Read more... )

Well, I went to Amanda's house with Kat last weekend, and some douche was there instead of Andrew. All i can do is wait at this point. It's a mystery when he'll show up in my life, but i have a feeling i'm supposed to meet him, i guess it just has to be the right time. You never know when that perfect moment is, you just have to wait. If you wait ( Read more... )

so i've decided to finally update this ( Read more... )

SO. tonight i went and saw my granny. a lot of my family was there. i went in to say hi to her, to give her a kiss like i usually do. when i looked at her it struck me. i feel like i'm going through the same kinda week i did when my dad died. just watching her die. she's in so much pain. right now, she's basically a vegitable because she's stopped ( Read more... )

why do i go back? why do i read them. you probly forgot who i am, and i'm still sitting here, reading old conversations, and letting myself cry my eyes out over them. i don't know what to do. we were so in love. and then i just read the conversation where you told me you were with katie, and i could see how crushed i was. how much you hurt me. i ( Read more... )

i basicaly didn't go to school at all this past week except for yesterday. and now i'm piled up with a shit load of homework :[. i hateeeee school. i sware it's going to kill me one day. So this weekend i'm cleaning my room and doing homework, oh so much fun. My granny is in the hospital. She has a very weak heart right now, and her blood pressure ( Read more... )

so this past weekend was a LOT of fun. i love going to mel's house. i love it there so much. 4 more years or less and i'll be there for good ( Read more... )