Dear Mom and Dad ( Read more... )

I'm jealous of you, all of you. I'm jelous of your looks, your possesions, but your intellect most of all. Talking about college makes me feel so inferior, like since I'm not going to Michigan or Penn or the fucking Navy, I'm stupid and a slacker. And I know you all think "What a waste, she was so smart, what happened ( Read more... )

So me and Kellie have been togther for a little more than 15 months. And I'm getting happier each day. It feels so nice to hear her say she loves me and misses me and it feels even better when I get to see her and I give her the first kiss in a week or the first hug. I feel so safe in her arms, like nothing can touch me when she's there. And even ( Read more... )

And all I can think is, Did I just fuck up the best thing to ever happen to me?

Yet I hide it so well and smile to all. Freshman year again? Let's hope not, for all our sake, but mine especially. I doubt I can handle that again. I don't have enough time to have four things imploding at once.

I sound like a loser.

A tumor.

Another fucking tumor. Yet this time in Papa.

Why must everything come crashing down at once?

I'm feel sick, my throat and chest are constricted, I feel like I'm going to throw up. My heads pouding, from the insdie out. I'm falling apart.

So as soon as I open up the window to write, everything completly leaves me ( Read more... )

So I feel the need to write but I'm not quite sure what to write about. I thought alot last night. Mostly about how I'm changing but not really changing more of growing inot myself, I suppose. Like all of a sudden, I'm girly, something I NEVER was. But maybe it's not bad changing. Maybe it's good. And maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about, ( Read more... )

So lie to me, baby. Look me in the eyes and act, if that's what you're so good at. But don't you know, sweetheart? I was there. And even the best actors couldn't fool these eyes and no one will ever be able to make me forget what I saw and heard that awful night. So lie to yourself and everyone else but that smile on my face isn't for sympathy. No ( Read more... )

Open door, sit down. Put it in reverse, pull out ( Read more... )

Well she got diagnosed.....cancer.

Liver Cancer.

I haven't been to see her yet. I should be going tonight. I want to go tonight. I want Kellie to come with me. But I'll just go over to her house afterwards, cause man am I gonna need a hug.