after this past week the decision to shave my head became increasingly easy ( Read more... )

 am i  my only champion ( Read more... )

i love someone so passionately 
that i am bursting
dissolving, down to a molucular level
because i cant stand to be even one atom away from them
they take me to the highest of highs
higher than any drug or supernatural experiance and
unavoidably so low that the desparity
is worth taking my life over
try as i have, i can not abolish this passion

sometimes i think that songs speak better for you
their words bring tears to my eyes because i wish that the words came from your lips
i feel as if i have no hope but to give up on you
i wish you would prove me wrong

i had a dream that i was walking to work [heb] with carrying a fire poker for protection ( Read more... )

 im trying to adjust to the idea of possibly being single
im givng you time to think it over
but since i know your answer
i might as well prepare for the worst

i have no idea what to do now
your mom asked me if i was sad and i said no
i lied, horridly
but why admit the truth like that
when admitting it resolves nothing 

i am a medical science phenomenon. Not just that I live. A miracle in itself - but how I live. With no devine nor biomedical help. Better than that, I thrive. I have lost all my previous memories except for jolting flashes, there I shall start. I drove my self off a 40 foot cliff wearing no seat belt in the middle of the night with no one around. ( Read more... )

oh maybe its the hormones but there are so many things i want to scream at you about fairness.
of the lack thereof. its not fair. no i could never force you. thats a given.
but i want you to want, need you to need.
and only a week out of your arms and i am frustrated again. 
you always leave me frustrated.
you make me want to give up on so many things ( Read more... )

 three days until my plane leaves. i can handle it right?
not really.
im so anxious it is redic.
im scared to fly.

its 5:30am and sleep only comes in 4 hours at a time or less. I put myself to sleep by imagining what it will be like at the airport in alaska. i think of what im going to wear, how im going to see it.
i imagine it as some sort of prophetic set up like the Austin airport, where arrivers have to travel down these large escelators that over look the ( Read more... )