Mighty Post of Mighty Rambling
Okay! So this week has been a little nuts, and I've been writing out LJ posts only to let them fester in .txt files. So I have decided to put them all in one big long stupid post. Here they are!
1. I'm on a mad reading jag. The other night I finished Perry Moore's Hero. I finished mbparker's A Difficult Boy, and I'm nearly done a beta for cathellisen.
Hero was disappointing. Almost everything superhero-related was derivative, from the bland naming conventions to the obvious DC-knockoffs. (Seriously, it was like he just wrote in the characters he wanted to use and then did a find-change.) The voice was engaging, but not funny enough. And if you're surprised by the ending, you weren't paying attention.
The coming-out, growing-up sections were better. Thom is more distinct and sympathetic in real life. I just don't think that in a book with crimefighting scenes and dishwashing scenes, the dishwashing should be the interesting part.
I went in with high hopes for something deeper. Superheroes and the gay experience are thematic twins. I expected the two plotlines to play off each other much more closely. I just have the feeling that this wasn't the book it could have been, and someday it'll be swept off the shelves by something better.
Cover design, though, is amazing.
(And I just can't overemphasize the terrible names. Dude, it's been forty years since everyone had "Boy", "Girl", "Man", or "Woman" as part of their superhero names. Put out a little effort here!)
Now I'm partway into Soon I Will Be Invincible, and that book is just knocking my socks off.
2. I ended up going to see Doomsday. That movie is a crazy mishmash of the fun and the ridiculous--a bit like Blade. It goes some really, really strange places. You're not allowed to have swordfights and car chases in the same movie. There's nothing here that you couldn't see in 28 Days Later or Mad Mad: Beyond Thunderdome or Reign of Fire, and if you think that's a weird selection of movies, then buddy you have got to go see Doomsday. I love one-eyed warrior women, so I was pretty much entertained throughout, but it is not a consistent kind of film by any stretch.
But our theater is now selling tickets for 99 cents, so it was worth every penny! Even the one I put in the jar for Children's Hospital!
3. I'm running another CSI: Supernatural-type game tomorrow, Saturday, April 5. All are welcome. General guidelines here. Previous game here. Got questions? Leave comments.
4. Dear scionofgrace,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert. I think I realized it when I quoted Santa in your closet and I saw you ignore my mustard soufflé. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of a new life as a clone.
Greetings to your frog Leonard,
amberdulen
Dear (the last person who left a comment on your LJ).
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.
___12___,
-Your name-
1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - our romance is over
Red - our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - you're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - your nostrils are insulting
Brown - the mafia wants you
No shirt - you're a loser
Other - I'm inlove with your sister
2. Which is your birth month?
January - that night
February - last year
March - when your dwarf bit me
April - when I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - when you put cuffs on me
July - when I threw up
August - when I saw the shrunken head
September - when we skinny dipped
October - when I quoted Santa
November - when your dog ran amok
December - when I changed tennis shoes
3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - in your apartment
Pizza - in your camping car
Pasta - outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - under the bus
Salad - as you ate enchilada
Chicken - in your closet
Kebab - with Paris Hilton
Fish - in women's clothing
Sandwiches - at the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - at the mental hospital
Hot dog - under a state of trance
Other - with George Bush and his wife
4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - hit on
Red - insult
Black - ignore
Blue - knock out
Purple - pour syrup on
White - carve your initials into
Grey - pull the clothes off
Brown - put leeches on
Orange - castrate
Pink - pull the toupee off
Barefoot - sit at
Other - drive out
5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - my best friend
White - my father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - my fart balloon
Purple - my mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - my avocado plant
Yellow - my penpal in Ghana
Orange - my Kid Rock-collection
Pink - manchester United's goalkeeper
None - my John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - the crazy monk
6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - man
O.C. - emotional
One Tree Hill - open
Heroes - frostbitten
Lost - high
House - scarred
Simpsons - cowardly
The news - mongolic
Idol - masochistic
Family Guy - senile
Top Model - middle-class
Other - ashamed
7. Your mood right now?
Happy - how awful I've felt
Sad - how boring you are
Bored - that Santa doesn't exist
Angry - that your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - that there is no solution to this.
Nervous - the middle-east
Worried - that your Honda sucks
Apathetic - that I did a sex-change
Ashamed - that I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - that I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - that I'm open
Other - that Extreme Home Makeover sucks
8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - your ring
Yellow - your love letters
Red - your Darth Vader-poster
Black - your tame stone
Blue - the couch cushions
Green - the pictures from LA
Orange - your false teeth
Brown - your contact book
Grey - our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - your old lottery coupons
Pink - the cut toenails
Other - your memories from the military service
9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - your photo
C/D - the oil stocks
E/F - your neighbour Martin
G/H - my virginity
I/J - the results of your blood-sample
K/L - your left ear
M/N - your suicide note
O/P - my common sense
Q/R - your mom
S/T - your collection of butterflies
U/V - your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - your grades from college
10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - always will remember
C/D - never will forget
E/F - always wanted to break
G/H - never openly mocked
I/J - always have felt dirty before
K/L - will tell the authorities about
M/N - told in my confession today about
O/P - was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - told my psychiatrist about
S/T - get sick when I think of
U/V - always will try to forget
W/X - am better off without
Y/Z - never liked
11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- our friendship
Beer - senility
Soft drink - a new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - the apartment building
Wine - cocaine abuse
Cider - a passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - to ruin the second world war
Other - to hate the Boston Celtics
12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
5. suzelle is running an interesting meme on your favorite SFF tropes. Difficulty: You can only use Tolkein and Lewis once each. Vampire: What the heck, Dracula.
Mermaid: Gosh, I loved the look of the mermaids in the newest Peter Pan movie.
Kingdom: Arthur's England
Imaginary world: I'll take "standard pseudo-medieval Anglo with magic" for 100, Alex.
Magic object: The key from The Lost Room.
Villains: All villains. Seriously, any villain.
Fairies: I don't particularly like fairies, so I'm going with Tinker Bell from Peter and Wendy.
Elves: Not nuts about elves either. I might spend my Tolkein point on this one and say The Hobbit.
Dragon: Ohh, I'm torn. The one in Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher
Sword: Excalibur (was a mad King Arthur nut, obviously)
Time Travel: The Back to the Future trilogy
Plot Twist: The Sixth Sense
Spaceship: The one in the My Teacher Is An Alien
Princess: Cimorene from Dealing with Dragons
Prince: That little doof that swapped with the Pauper
Wizard: Randall of Doun from a wildly obscure little series of which I only had Book 3.
Warrior: Hunter from Neverwhere
Magical Beast: Do daemons from The Golden Compass count?
Jewel: I don't know. The Blue Carbuncle?
Thief: Scarper from Montmorency: thief, liar, gentleman
Dark and Stormy Night: I love them all
Fashion Accessory: Eyepatches (always)
Boy, this turned out more old-school than I expected. And the funny thing is, I've never read as much fantasy as I feel like I have. My favorite books always tend to be more grounded, more real-life-with-fun-elements situations. So I can't even think of very many books with elves in them, even though I know that in the genre they're like lice. Weird, eh?
5. I finally wrote an "issue I care about" post for ladyarkham.
ladyarkham asked about a "cause I'm interested in or support." I guess I don't write about causes. I'm not much of an activist. Activism is the world's most vicious fandom. You not only have to intimately know all the Canon, but there's argument over what even comprises Canon, and there's real money involved, and real people are hurt if you do it wrong. What a terrifying fight to join.
But I'll tell you about one issue that really roasts my corn: prison rape.
Rape is never funny. It's never justified. It's never something to shrug at. But somehow prisoner-on-prisoner rape or guard-on-prisoner rape have become all of that in our cultural conscience: a joke, an assumed consequence of breaking the law, an inevitability.
We cannot, as an ethical society, sentence criminals to rape. But that's the upshot of admitting someone into the prison system. Everyone knows it. In movies: "You know what happens to cops in prison?" In the Onion: "I have a prison survival plan." On TV: Link to Oz and Prison Break. In Fark: "sent to PMITA prison." PMITA, of course, stands for "pound me in the ass" and prefaces every reference to prison on the site.
Everyone knows, and few care.
The only way this will ever change is by public outcry. We have to insist on proper monitoring for rape and serious prosecution when it's found. We have to make people care that people are being brutally dehumanized--even if those people have committed a crime.
It's not "part of going to prison." It's not "when you commit a crime you lose your rights." It's a violent crime. It needs to be thought of and treated like one.
SPR.org
6. Did I have a number six?
7. I am working on another one of those "hook your LJ friends up with other LJ friends" lists, so if you have a preference of the kind of people you'd like to be introduced to, speak up now.
8. That'll do for now.
1. I'm on a mad reading jag. The other night I finished Perry Moore's Hero. I finished mbparker's A Difficult Boy, and I'm nearly done a beta for cathellisen.
Hero was disappointing. Almost everything superhero-related was derivative, from the bland naming conventions to the obvious DC-knockoffs. (Seriously, it was like he just wrote in the characters he wanted to use and then did a find-change.) The voice was engaging, but not funny enough. And if you're surprised by the ending, you weren't paying attention.
The coming-out, growing-up sections were better. Thom is more distinct and sympathetic in real life. I just don't think that in a book with crimefighting scenes and dishwashing scenes, the dishwashing should be the interesting part.
I went in with high hopes for something deeper. Superheroes and the gay experience are thematic twins. I expected the two plotlines to play off each other much more closely. I just have the feeling that this wasn't the book it could have been, and someday it'll be swept off the shelves by something better.
Cover design, though, is amazing.
(And I just can't overemphasize the terrible names. Dude, it's been forty years since everyone had "Boy", "Girl", "Man", or "Woman" as part of their superhero names. Put out a little effort here!)
Now I'm partway into Soon I Will Be Invincible, and that book is just knocking my socks off.
2. I ended up going to see Doomsday. That movie is a crazy mishmash of the fun and the ridiculous--a bit like Blade. It goes some really, really strange places. You're not allowed to have swordfights and car chases in the same movie. There's nothing here that you couldn't see in 28 Days Later or Mad Mad: Beyond Thunderdome or Reign of Fire, and if you think that's a weird selection of movies, then buddy you have got to go see Doomsday. I love one-eyed warrior women, so I was pretty much entertained throughout, but it is not a consistent kind of film by any stretch.
But our theater is now selling tickets for 99 cents, so it was worth every penny! Even the one I put in the jar for Children's Hospital!
3. I'm running another CSI: Supernatural-type game tomorrow, Saturday, April 5. All are welcome. General guidelines here. Previous game here. Got questions? Leave comments.
4. Dear scionofgrace,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert. I think I realized it when I quoted Santa in your closet and I saw you ignore my mustard soufflé. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of a new life as a clone.
Greetings to your frog Leonard,
amberdulen
Dear (the last person who left a comment on your LJ).
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.
___12___,
-Your name-
1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - our romance is over
Red - our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - you're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - your nostrils are insulting
Brown - the mafia wants you
No shirt - you're a loser
Other - I'm inlove with your sister
2. Which is your birth month?
January - that night
February - last year
March - when your dwarf bit me
April - when I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - when you put cuffs on me
July - when I threw up
August - when I saw the shrunken head
September - when we skinny dipped
October - when I quoted Santa
November - when your dog ran amok
December - when I changed tennis shoes
3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - in your apartment
Pizza - in your camping car
Pasta - outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - under the bus
Salad - as you ate enchilada
Chicken - in your closet
Kebab - with Paris Hilton
Fish - in women's clothing
Sandwiches - at the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - at the mental hospital
Hot dog - under a state of trance
Other - with George Bush and his wife
4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - hit on
Red - insult
Black - ignore
Blue - knock out
Purple - pour syrup on
White - carve your initials into
Grey - pull the clothes off
Brown - put leeches on
Orange - castrate
Pink - pull the toupee off
Barefoot - sit at
Other - drive out
5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - my best friend
White - my father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - my fart balloon
Purple - my mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - my avocado plant
Yellow - my penpal in Ghana
Orange - my Kid Rock-collection
Pink - manchester United's goalkeeper
None - my John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - the crazy monk
6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - man
O.C. - emotional
One Tree Hill - open
Heroes - frostbitten
Lost - high
House - scarred
Simpsons - cowardly
The news - mongolic
Idol - masochistic
Family Guy - senile
Top Model - middle-class
Other - ashamed
7. Your mood right now?
Happy - how awful I've felt
Sad - how boring you are
Bored - that Santa doesn't exist
Angry - that your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - that there is no solution to this.
Nervous - the middle-east
Worried - that your Honda sucks
Apathetic - that I did a sex-change
Ashamed - that I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - that I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - that I'm open
Other - that Extreme Home Makeover sucks
8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - your ring
Yellow - your love letters
Red - your Darth Vader-poster
Black - your tame stone
Blue - the couch cushions
Green - the pictures from LA
Orange - your false teeth
Brown - your contact book
Grey - our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - your old lottery coupons
Pink - the cut toenails
Other - your memories from the military service
9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - your photo
C/D - the oil stocks
E/F - your neighbour Martin
G/H - my virginity
I/J - the results of your blood-sample
K/L - your left ear
M/N - your suicide note
O/P - my common sense
Q/R - your mom
S/T - your collection of butterflies
U/V - your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - your grades from college
10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - always will remember
C/D - never will forget
E/F - always wanted to break
G/H - never openly mocked
I/J - always have felt dirty before
K/L - will tell the authorities about
M/N - told in my confession today about
O/P - was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - told my psychiatrist about
S/T - get sick when I think of
U/V - always will try to forget
W/X - am better off without
Y/Z - never liked
11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- our friendship
Beer - senility
Soft drink - a new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - the apartment building
Wine - cocaine abuse
Cider - a passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - to ruin the second world war
Other - to hate the Boston Celtics
12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
5. suzelle is running an interesting meme on your favorite SFF tropes. Difficulty: You can only use Tolkein and Lewis once each. Vampire: What the heck, Dracula.
Mermaid: Gosh, I loved the look of the mermaids in the newest Peter Pan movie.
Kingdom: Arthur's England
Imaginary world: I'll take "standard pseudo-medieval Anglo with magic" for 100, Alex.
Magic object: The key from The Lost Room.
Villains: All villains. Seriously, any villain.
Fairies: I don't particularly like fairies, so I'm going with Tinker Bell from Peter and Wendy.
Elves: Not nuts about elves either. I might spend my Tolkein point on this one and say The Hobbit.
Dragon: Ohh, I'm torn. The one in Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher
Sword: Excalibur (was a mad King Arthur nut, obviously)
Time Travel: The Back to the Future trilogy
Plot Twist: The Sixth Sense
Spaceship: The one in the My Teacher Is An Alien
Princess: Cimorene from Dealing with Dragons
Prince: That little doof that swapped with the Pauper
Wizard: Randall of Doun from a wildly obscure little series of which I only had Book 3.
Warrior: Hunter from Neverwhere
Magical Beast: Do daemons from The Golden Compass count?
Jewel: I don't know. The Blue Carbuncle?
Thief: Scarper from Montmorency: thief, liar, gentleman
Dark and Stormy Night: I love them all
Fashion Accessory: Eyepatches (always)
Boy, this turned out more old-school than I expected. And the funny thing is, I've never read as much fantasy as I feel like I have. My favorite books always tend to be more grounded, more real-life-with-fun-elements situations. So I can't even think of very many books with elves in them, even though I know that in the genre they're like lice. Weird, eh?
5. I finally wrote an "issue I care about" post for ladyarkham.
ladyarkham asked about a "cause I'm interested in or support." I guess I don't write about causes. I'm not much of an activist. Activism is the world's most vicious fandom. You not only have to intimately know all the Canon, but there's argument over what even comprises Canon, and there's real money involved, and real people are hurt if you do it wrong. What a terrifying fight to join.
But I'll tell you about one issue that really roasts my corn: prison rape.
Rape is never funny. It's never justified. It's never something to shrug at. But somehow prisoner-on-prisoner rape or guard-on-prisoner rape have become all of that in our cultural conscience: a joke, an assumed consequence of breaking the law, an inevitability.
We cannot, as an ethical society, sentence criminals to rape. But that's the upshot of admitting someone into the prison system. Everyone knows it. In movies: "You know what happens to cops in prison?" In the Onion: "I have a prison survival plan." On TV: Link to Oz and Prison Break. In Fark: "sent to PMITA prison." PMITA, of course, stands for "pound me in the ass" and prefaces every reference to prison on the site.
Everyone knows, and few care.
The only way this will ever change is by public outcry. We have to insist on proper monitoring for rape and serious prosecution when it's found. We have to make people care that people are being brutally dehumanized--even if those people have committed a crime.
It's not "part of going to prison." It's not "when you commit a crime you lose your rights." It's a violent crime. It needs to be thought of and treated like one.
SPR.org
6. Did I have a number six?
7. I am working on another one of those "hook your LJ friends up with other LJ friends" lists, so if you have a preference of the kind of people you'd like to be introduced to, speak up now.
8. That'll do for now.