can't stop thinking of the smell of the warm, dry, northwoods sun hitting the sandy dirt and pale green needles crunching underfoot. dark blue sky. quiet wind in the pines. squeak of the iron water well in the field at the top of three falls. grasshoppers. heat vibrations off the asphalt parking lot. quiet rush of the waterfalls below. heaven. it's ( Read more... )

working alone all day on a saturday really !@#$s with my emotions. stupid feelings. i wish i was a dude so i didn't have them.

ok now i'm sad. i can't have him, obviously. but i can't bear not having him. all i can do is weep. i'm never dating again. never. highs aren't worth the lows.

things are happening. so many things. happy things. tropical things. i can't write them down. this week is a giant mystery.

...................come on.

we walked around the perimeter of the frozen lake today, detouring to look at tip up flags where holes had been drilled for ice fishing. the ice is thick now, about 20 inches. when we got to the rocks i walked to the shore and smoothed the snow away against the rock so i could see where the ice met tight with the land. it was clear there, so you ( Read more... )

last night i had a dream that i was in the middle of a violently wavy ocean on a broken off wing of a small airplane with a strange woman and her baby. i had a book of tear off poison sheets that someone made me eat, then a shark bit my hand and i shook it off. the wing started going under water and i could see when i opened my eyes underwater that ( Read more... )

i finally cleaned up all the piles of papers in my office that have been piling up for an entire freaking year. i realized as i was putting everything away that this is year five of owning my own business! and even through the weird economy i'm still somehow successful. that's pretty freaking cool if i must say so myself. if i could only be a tiny ( Read more... )

sister sent me a package with with some smelly stuff, lotions and soaps and things. in the package was a cd that just said for amy on it. i got it on wednesday but i didn't have time to see what it was. i just put it in and it's a terrible recording of beyonce's irreplacable. i love her. man oh man my family is so freaking amazing. sleazebag loses.

i do not enjoy being awake.