I have come to the conclusion that when I am upset or anything, I never want to sleep. I keep telling myself each night that the next day I have to take a nap between jobs. Today I went running instead. And now here I am up on my computer instead of sleeping. A part of me wants to sleep, but another part of me is so awake I won't let myself lie ( Read more... )

I shouldn't be writing right now because it will probably just bring me down, but I am waiting to go out tonight. Dave, Shaun and I are going to Original Mike's in Santa Ana which will be fun. Maybe I should just get smashed tonight. Hell, last night I had sex only so I could feel alive. I realize that's not a good thing, but it sucks to feel so ( Read more... )

What the F*CK am I supposed to do now? All I want right now is for everyone to just get along for God sake. It's just not possible when there is drunk Dave who thinks he is having fun, and drunk Karri who thinks he's an asshole... (which he was) and they are both so close to me. Dave called her to apologize and she told him straight up that she ( Read more... )

I am so lost right now. Last night was a rough night with people passing out and friends shouting at each other. I think that a lot of this depression is pms, but it's also because of Dave. I just think I would be fine not hanging out with him again... or even seeing him. I would just feel bad because a lot of his friends are feeling that way. This ( Read more... )

I am in the mood to write a song right now, but the whole rhyming thing isn't working out for me. I am pretty depressed tonight. I just feel unloved, rejected, and all-in-all friendless ( Read more... )

I have a lot going through my head at this particular moment and I am not sure how to sort them out. So I am just going to type away. First off, I walked out on Dave the other night and things haven't been the same since. I don't think I meant for things to toally end when I did it, I just felt a strong urge to go home that night. He didn't seem to ( Read more... )

I think it's time to update again. Things are going along just fine. I started a new job at Islands that is going well. I'm a host, but at least I get tipped out. I hope I get moved up quickly. The manager had a talk with me telling me how he expects good things from me and he wants me to work very hard to prove it to him. It really drives me crazy ( Read more... )

This is going to be quick cause I am going out with my coworkers tonight. Everything here is great! Dave has finally showed me that he is definately worth having around. The other night he took me out to a nice dinner and I got to wear my new Victoria's Secret dress! It was just like I pictured it in my head - sharing a bottle of wine, on the patio ( Read more... )

My life is like the sun... comes up, and goes down. Sometimes bright, sometimes cloudy. Sometimes shady, sometimes beautiful. The one way I differ from the sun, I'm not consistant. I've been unhappy for the past few days, and that's not normal for me. For the past two months I have been a happy camper. Not lately. I break down in tears so easily, I ( Read more... )

I must say I am pretty much done feeling bad about myself! I have been happy with my body for the past two months, and not once have I puked or fasted! The past three years I've just wasted my energy on trying to lose weight and I'm sick of it! It's now behind me. Yes there have been times that I feel uncomfortable in my clothes, but I get over it ( Read more... )